


please don't say sebastian smythe

by killerleo



Category: Glee
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, M/M, Pining, Season 6 Rewrite
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:01:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 39,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26290795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerleo/pseuds/killerleo
Summary: {Kurt put on a fake smile and puffed out a forced laugh, perhaps in a way to break some of the tension. “Please don’t say Sebastian Smythe,” he joked, saying it as if it wouldn’t even be a possibility.And then Blaine had probably his worst idea, ever.“Well, actually…” he trailed off, knowing those two words would be enough, as well as the blush that swept across his cheeks. “Sebastian’s my boyfriend.”Sebastian was not Blaine’s boyfriend.}~a season 6 rewrite with a lot more sebastian, a lot less klaine, and an unnecessary amount of obliviousness and pining, aka what we should have been given all along.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe
Comments: 75
Kudos: 195





	1. you really are something else anderson

**Author's Note:**

> so i sat down and tried to do a seblaine s6au, but i also Have to have my fic's be getting together rather than established relationship so we ended up with this.   
> it's a full rewrite of the last season, and i've already written a fair amount so updates should be regular, i'm posting now to motivate me to write the last little bit!!  
> this work is for quinn (not fabray) my biggest cheerleader and the other side to our idiot coin, ily <3  
> i hope you enjoy!!!

The blaring lights and thrumming bass of the club did little to ease Blaine’s anxieties as he pushed through the crowds of people in Scandals, the intensity of the environment just seeming to drive home what a bad idea this all was. He was running late, again, but tried not to expect any chastising from Kurt seeing as they weren’t actually together anymore, although he wasn’t counting on it. 

His ex-fiance had called him to meet up, and despite knowing how painful it would be to see his face again, Blaine realised that he should probably try and be mature about the whole situation, and allow himself to start healing. Even if he got tempted, he couldn’t let himself think about returning to the relationship; his heart was still so cracked that he wasn’t sure that he would be able to get through it. 

Smoothing out his shirt, Blaine stood up on his toes to try and look over the heads of the groups of men in the club, again heavily questioning Kurt’s choice of location, looking out for that familiar coif he had tried to put out of his head for so long. People pushed into his shoulders, getting inappropriately close with wandering hands as Blaine moved towards the bar, just wishing they had met in the Lima Bean like normal people. 

Though he and Kurt had never really seemed to do anything quite right; not for a long time.

Thankfully, there was a gap in the crowd that allowed Blaine to see through to the bar, where his ex was sat nervously toying with a drink, eyes flickering around the room. Selfishly, he thought that Kurt looked as on edge as he felt, which did help him a little. Blaine pushed down his fears and strode over, coming up behind him and plastering on the best smile he could muster. 

“Hi, I hope you weren’t waiting long!” he announced, unable to keep a slight wobble out of his voice, which betrayed his desire to turn on his heel and run away as far as fucking possible. Kurt jumped a little at his words, twisting in his stool to face him and giving a nervous smile, their bodies now a lot closer than they had been in months.

“Oh h-hi, no not at all,” his ex replied, stretching out his arms to initiate a hug. Blaine stepped into it a little awkwardly, the embrace uncomfortable and disjointed as he wasn’t quite too sure what to do with himself. It had been months since they’d seen each other, and the rhythm they used to have was now out of sync, no longer moving in the same ways and fitting together the way they had when they were younger. 

Blaine was now starting to feel relieved about that, stepping forward into becoming his own person rather than the half of one he’d been before; dangerously codependent and insecure, punishing himself and damaging himself and the relationship. 

He pat Kurt on the back awkwardly, not leaning in too close, so that their bodies maintained an amicable distance, not an intimate one, trying to force himself to stick to their new boundaries as separate people. Kurt seemed happy to see him amongst his nerves, the two of them settling back down onto the stools facing one another and leaning against the bar. Blaine was waiting for his ex to talk first as he had initiated the meeting, and, from the worried nibbling at his lip, Kurt had something specific he wanted to say.

“Um, I appreciate you coming to see me,” Kurt stated, stuttering slightly and hands fidgeting in a way that Blaine knew meant he was very nervous, shifting in his seat. “I-I would understand if you had told me to fuck off.”

The honesty and reminder that it had been Kurt who was the one to break them up helped ease Blaine a little, the hope that maybe they could both now admit to each other what they had been too afraid to for a while - that they had become toxic. Although the memories of the break up were still painful, Blaine was getting to the point where he hoped they could start to move forward as friends, and regain some of what they’d had back all those years ago. 

He shook his head slightly and relaxed his shoulders, settling against the bar before speaking. “No! No it’s ok, it’s good to see you, uh -”

“Well, I’m here to get you back.” Kurt interrupted him, his voice cutting through the air sharply and decisively, as if he had been planning to burst that out from the second he arrived. “I don’t mean to blurt it out like that, but for the sake of clarity, you should know that first, I’m going to get your forgiveness, and then I’m going to get your heart back.”

Blaine felt his stomach drop more with every word, Kurt’s hands clasped on top of his own feeling like a heavyweight crushing down on his bones, suffocating his whole body. This is not how he thought this evening would be going, and it only meant that everything was going to go so much worse than he imagined. 

Slowly he pulled his hand away, letting it scratch across the sticky surface of the bar, ignoring the way that he just wanted to get up and leg it, turn his back and sprint out of there without looking over his shoulder. No, that would be immature and irresponsible, plus he wasn’t wearing suitable running shoes. 

His mind raced, aware he was just sitting in silence, mouth parted, but words seemed to fail him. He couldn’t do this, not again, not when he had spent the last few months attempting to glue back the broken pieces of himself, and this would only shatter them again.

“Um, I’m seeing someone…” The words sort of fell out of his mouth as his brain stopped several steps behind, which, okay, as far as panic statements went, it could have gone worse. Kurt’s face slowly crumbled as he spoke, the once assured smile dissolving. His ex’s face contorted into a kind of grimace, as if trying to put that smile back on but it was physically painful. 

The air was uncomfortably thick, and Blaine could see Kurt’s brain thinking through what he’d been told, as if trying to mentally go through every gay guy in Lima. He tried to think of anything to say, but his brain had decidedly just stopped working after blurting out he was seeing someone. 

Kurt put on a fake smile and puffed out a forced laugh, perhaps in a way to break some of the tension. “Please don’t say Sebastian Smythe,” he joked, saying it as if it wouldn’t even be a possibility. 

And then Blaine had probably his worst idea, ever. 

“Well, actually…” he trailed off, knowing those two words would be enough, as well as the blush that swept across his cheeks. “Sebastian’s my boyfriend.”

Sebastian was not Blaine’s boyfriend. 

Kurt’s eyes widened slightly, the colour draining from his face as he took in the information, mouth dropping open and looking as if someone had just told him his dad was in the hospital. Or Betty White had died. It was too late now to say anything, to take anything back or rectify the situation that he had just dug himself into, so Blaine decided the best thing to do was just power through. 

“We met here, actually, at Scandals, a few months ago. I had just got back in town and I was feeling a bit low, so I came here for a pick me up, and that’s when we ran into one another.”

See, that was technically all true; he and Sebastian  _ had _ been hanging out pretty regularly the last few months, the other man back in Ohio for a year after his gap year in Paris, and was now working part time in a law firm before heading off to Columbia next fall. The only difference was that, after running into each other at Scandals, they hadn’t actually hooked up, but gone back to Sebastian’s apartment and watched Parks and Rec until they passed out on the sofa. 

It was honestly a stroke of luck that the name Kurt said happened to be the name of the person he had been hanging out with non stop for the last few months, and it helped ease his guilt a little; it seemed much more like a white lie, rather than flat out dishonesty. Although, he had just forgotten how much his ex actively despised Sebastian.

Kurt nodded, face not moving from the same horrified expression, looking about a second away from being sick. Slowly, he cleared his throat and forced a smile onto his face, shuffling in his seat. “Wow, uh, wow. That’s great, what’s he up to?”

“Well, he’s working part time at a law firm before college next year, but he helps me out with the Warblers quite a lot, as well; he’s much better at choreography than I am,” Blaine chuckled, crossing his ankles over. Sebastian’s involvement at Dalton wasn’t an official role like his was; he had just tagged along for a rehearsal one day and immediately started chastising their dancing, and then he had ended up coming back again, redoing their choreography and helping with setlists. He pretended to hate it, but Blaine knew how fond of the kids he was. 

“Sounds good, I’m, uh, glad you have someone,” Kurt replied with a pained look, as if trying to decide whether to be happy for him or a throw a drink at his face. Blaine was honestly just happy this was all going as well as it was; Sebastian was probably the person his ex disliked most in the world, and he had brought him up in arguments enough to know he was a very big sore spot. A flash of guilt shot through Blaine as he thought about what he was doing, but he knew that, not only was it too late to go back, he had to give himself a reason to not let himself get caught up in his old relationship. Not again. 

“I know this isn’t really what you wanted, and that it may not be easy, but I just want us all to be adults about this,” he said, as comfortingly as he could, not wishing to cause any further aggravation. Kurt nodded, that same smile on his face as he aggressively sucked on his straw, probably imagining spitting on Sebastian’s shoes. 

“No, of course, we’re all adults here,” he said, swallowing heavily. “Why don’t you bring him to Mr Schuester’s dinner party? Especially if he’s helping out with the Warblers.”

Kurt looked as if he couldn’t quite believe he had said that, mirroring exactly how Blaine felt as they sat blinking at each other, both with awkward smiles frozen on their faces. “Yeah, uh, yeah, that’s a great idea! He and Sam are actually sort of friends now, so that would be nice!” He knew his voice sounded weird and forced, but they had both made this bed, so they had to lie in it now, the tension between them uncomfortably thick. If Sebastian was there, he would laugh at what idiots they were both being. 

“Great. That’s, uh, great,” Kurt announced after the weird pause. 

Blaine nodded back, fingers drumming on the sticky bartop. “Great.”

They stared at each other, Blaine biting his lip and leg bouncing up and down on his stool anxiously, really just wishing someone would call him with a fake injury to get him out of there. Luckily, Kurt seemed as eager to leave as he did, swallowing and wiping his hands on his trousers. 

“If you’d excuse me, I have to use the restroom,” he said, voice cracking a little as he did, and he stood up and turned to walk away without glancing back, absorbed into the crowd of bodies. Blaine had known Kurt for long enough to know that meant he was definitely not going to be coming back, so he released the breath he had been holding since he sat down. 

He turned his stool and signalled to the bartender, leaning his head into his hands with a sigh. It wasn’t exactly how he thought the evening was going to go; Kurt coming to get him back was a curveball that Blaine really hadn’t seen coming, as he had figured it was going to be some courtesy meeting about show choir or some of his old jumpers. 

Honestly, the last few months of his life had been about him trying to get over Kurt, establish himself as his own person and try and reconnect with the sense of self he had seemed to have lost over the previous years. The first few weeks back home at his parents had been spent in bed, torn between crying, watching romcoms, and being on the phone to Tina, whilst also crying. It had been pathetic. 

Eventually, Sam had come over and practically dragged him out, starting off with just going to the Lima Bean, and then he went to one of the McKinley football games, coincidentally where he found out about the open position at Dalton due to some staff chatter. His best friend had made him go out on his own, which is how he ended up at Scandals on a Tuesday night, alone at the bar, pathetically drinking a sex on the beach and seriously regretting most of his life choices. 

Meeting Sebastian had been weird; the other man was as friendly and forward as ever, but gone was a lot of the intensity and competition, replaced with a lightness to him that was refreshing. He was obviously still ridiculously handsome - even more so, now he had grown up a bit, becoming broader and stronger - as well as his same charming, charismatic self, but this was a different Sebastian to the one he had known in high school.

Yes, Blaine still found himself hit on a little, but there was no bite behind it: it was more innocent flirting, which he was more than happy to return, and they ended up back at his just to watch TV and make nachos. 

Steadily, he and Sebastian saw more of each other, going to get coffee, trips to the cinema, hanging out at each other’s places, until one day the taller man had tagged along to Dalton and then never seemed to leave, becoming an unofficial coach alongside him. He acted like the Warblers' big brother, teasing and often criticising them, albeit harmlessly, and creating much better choreography than Blaine could ever come up with. Even he and Sam got along, bonding over basketball and Star Trek, and through their help, Blaine had started to become his own person again, and he was more grateful than he could ever say.

But now, he couldn’t help but wonder if he had just gone and royally fucked it all up by saying he was in a relationship with Sebastian. The other man was easy going, but agreeing to fake date him? Blaine wasn’t sure if he’d even go along with it, let alone how good he’d be, as he was pretty sure Sebastian’s longest relationship was a few hours long. 

And now he had to bring him to Mr Schuester’s dinner party, where Sam, Rachel, and Kurt would also be, which honestly sounded like a nightmare come to life, and he was fairly confident adding Sebastian into the mix would make things worse than he could possibly imagine. 

But, he had dug himself this grave, so he was going to have to lie in it, no matter how fucked up Blaine had just made his life. As the bartender came back with his drink, he realised that he was actually going to have to tell Sebastian about all of this. He downed half his beer in one go.

~

“You really are something else, Anderson, you know that, right?”

Blaine rolled his eyes and groaned, sliding further down his chair, ignoring Sebastian’s teasing in front of him. 

“I mean, not only telling Hummel you have a boyfriend - which, firstly, is dumb - but then telling him your boyfriend is the one person in the world he doesn’t want it to be? Didn’t realise you had such a mean side. It’s kinda hot.”

“Sebastian, you are not helping,” Blaine replied with a whine, playing with the lid of his coffee. They’d met in the Lima Bean as they usually did on Monday afternoons - Sebastian only worked the morning - for their regular chat, as well as so Blaine could fill the other man in on what he’d gotten them into over the weekend. 

Their coffee meetings became common as soon as they had reconnected, both of them not really having many friends left in the area and finding comfort in a familiar face. The old friendship they had was still buried there, repressed under the bad memories and blocked numbers; no bad blood between them since senior year but not as close as they once had been. Catching up with Sebastian, talking about Dalton, New York, Paris, their friends, anything and everything - it was easy, fun, and exactly what he needed to pull himself out of his state. 

They had coffee twice a week, hung out most evenings (often with Sam), and although Sebastian couldn’t make every Warbler rehearsal due to work, they shared about three practices a week. The amount of time they spent together meant that the presumption they were dating was probably wasn’t too far of a reach, which he tried to explain to the other man when his weekend activities came up.

Unsurprisingly, Sebastian had laughed straight at his face, declared him an adorable idiot, said it was his fault for agreeing to see Kurt, and then proceeded to insult his ex for a good two minutes which wasn’t the best of starts. However, he hadn’t actually said  _ no _ just yet. 

“Sorry killer, you gotta admit you’ve made a right mess of all this though,” Sebastian said with a smile, long legs stretched out in front of him. “You were supposed to just say you hoped the two of you could be friends and move on blah blah blah.”

“Yes I’m aware what I was  _ supposed _ to do Smythe, but  _ clearly _ that didn’t happen, so are you gonna help me or not?” Blaine sat up in his chair and gave his best assertive look, which was probably more stroppy. He was debating pouting and batting his eyelashes when Sebastian gave a groan and over dramatic eye roll, nodding his head.

“Fine, but I’m not going to be all friendly and nice with Hummel and Berry, or your creepy teacher. Plus, I get to cop a feel, you know, for authenticity,” he declared, throwing in a wink for good measure. “This is only because I can’t deal with you moping around anymore B, and we both know gayface is gonna end up distracting you otherwise and we got sectionals to win.”

Blaine cocked an eyebrow, kicking their legs together under the table. “Oh,  _ we _ have sectionals to win do we? Thought only I was the coach of the Warblers?” Sebastian scoffed at that, nudging his own leg back with more force. 

“Please, I’m the cool dad and you’re the boring dad, they love me more.” His eyes then widened and a dangerous grin spread on his face. “You realise this means we’re gonna have to tell the Warblers we’re dating right? How long do you reckon it’ll take before they start calling us their parents?” 

Blaine groaned and let his head fall into his hands, ignoring the borderline cackle that came from the man opposite, and tried to remember a time when his life wasn’t so fucked.

“Do you reckon you’re more of a dad or a daddy?”

“Shut up Sebastian.”

~

Blaine had almost forgotten about the dinner party that night, head occupied with Jane and her request to join the Warblers when Sebastian had turned up at his house, dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt with a light jacket, clearly not caring too much about being formal. Although seeing as he was forced to wear a suit to work Blaine knew he just preferred being able to dress down when he could. 

They’d had a bit of time, Sebastian lying on his bed flicking through his phone absentmindedly as Blaine got changed, telling him about his day at the firm and all the legal documents he was definitely not supposed to share with anyone. 

Since the end of his engagement he really had been trying to switch up his look, but the anticipation of seeing Kurt made him want to nervously gravitate towards the bow tie’s and plaid, fit back into that old self in a weird need to please. The last few months his hair had gotten more and more gel free, and although he still dressed up a little for work, didn’t wear as much formal clothes on a day to day basis.

“Go with the navy, represent Dalton,” Sebastian called out from the bed, looking over the top of the phone. “Plus you look hot in it.”

Blaine stuck his middle finger up at him, but grabbed the navy polo nonetheless, ignoring the other man’s pleased hum. He started getting dressed quickly, back facing Sebastian and desperately trying not to think about where his eyes would be travelling, yanking the top over his head. 

“So I know you and Evans already explained it to me but what is actually the point of this dinner? Other than making me want to stab my eyes out with the cutlery which’ll almost certainly be blunt.”

“Show choir etiquette, or something like that I’m honestly not too sure. I think Mr Schuester just wanted a chance for us all to hang out before the competition really started and it would get harder for us all to see each other,” Blaine shrugged as he did up his belt, turning around to face Sebastian in time to see the taller man’s gaze lingering on his body. He blushed a little and cleared his throat, tightening the buckle. “I’m sure it’s just going to be casual, don’t worry.”

Sebastian tore his eyes up to Blaine’s face, nodding appreciatively at his outfit to give non verbal approval. “The only thing I’m worried about is how that teacher has no friends his own age, I’m not nervous about tonight killer. I mean, Hummel invited me, so no one can complain I’m there anyway.” He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up, stretching a little which exposed a sliver of skin near his hip bone, which Blaine definitely did not stare at. 

“And where we at with the whole dating stuff? Sticking to the whole original story about how we actually met up but just throwing in a hook up and dates and all that stuff?”

Blaine nodded, grabbing his phone and keys from the desk, patting his pockets to make sure he had everything. “Yeah, meeting at Scandals, going home together, going on dates for 2 weeks and then making it official when you asked me to be your boyfriend over dinner at your place.” He listed everything off on his fingers, reaffirming himself as well as Sebastian, not wanting to slip up and make any mistakes. 

“Still can’t believe I asked you out, seems like more your thing Anderson,” Sebastian said, crossing his arms over his chest and slightly resembling a toddler. “I’m the one that’s supposed to be the commitment-phobe remember?” 

“You  _ were _ the commitment phobe, and now you’re my loving, monogamous boyfriend, so keep it in your pants and try to act like you genuinely have feelings for me ok?” Blaine accented the last word with a light jab at his chest, Sebastian giving him an odd look as he spoke, just swallowing and looking away. “Sam knows everything anyway, he can back us up whenever, I basically said to relay everything as it actually happened but just say we were cuddling or whatever.”

He grabbed a jacket from the back of the door, checking his watch for the time. “You good to go? If we leave now we can arrive a tasteful 5 minutes late to avoid as many awkward introductions as we can?”

Sebastian grinned at him, picking up his own jacket and shrugging it on, walking over to the door. “You’re driving, I’m gonna need to drink through this.” Blaine rolled his eyes, pretty sure he was the one that was going to need at least a bottle of wine, but got his car keys anyway, leading the two of them out the house.

~

Blaine knocked on the door of Mr Schuester’s apartment, nervously bouncing on the balls of his feet. He hated how tense he was, driving on the way over his knuckles had been white on the steering wheel, eyes glaring through the windscreen barely able to blink.

“Hey, B, relax, you’re gonna wear holes in your shoes,” Sebastian murmured in his ear, placing a hand on his lower back. The touch calmed him, Blaine leaning back into the contact slightly as the door swung open, revealing Sam staring at them with wide eyes. 

“Oh thank god I was beginning to think you two were just gonna ditch,” he exclaimed, pulling Blaine into a quick hug, then fist bumping Sebastian who looked as unhappy doing it as he did every time. “Also dude, I don’t think Rachel is happy you didn’t tell her about the dating even though you hung out the other day, she had to hear it from Kurt.”

“Yes, because there isn’t any  _ actual _ dating Sam, so there wasn’t anything to tell her,” Blaine hissed, peering round to make sure know one heard. “I know I probably should’ve texted her or something but it just slipped my mind, I’m sure she’ll get over it.” They all knew she wouldn’t get over it.

“Whatever, you’re here now it’s fine,” Sam replied, giving them both a smile and stepping back to let them in. “Good to see you bro, you see the game last night?” Sebastian clapped him on the shoulder as he walked past, nodding at the blond. 

“Yep, you’re gonna owe me $20 by the time the season is over Evans,” he replied, chuckling lightly at Sam’s affronted gasp. Blaine shut the door behind them, and let Sam guide him and Sebastian through to the dining room, where he could hear the rest of the guests lightly chatting, making him swallow hard. The hand returned to his lower back, Sebastian’s touch grounding him from anxieties. 

“Sorry we’re late guys! Awful traffic on the way over,” Blaine announced as they entered, the three in the room turning their heads as they came in. Mr Schuester stood up, coming over to give him a handshake, warm smile on his face. 

“Don’t worry about it, we haven’t started anything yet. Good to see you Blaine,” he said, clasping his hand tightly, before flicking his eyes over. “And you Sebastian, thanks for joining us.” The slight shift in tone was noticeable but it wasn’t too dramatic, Mr Schuester still trying to be as amiable as possible. 

“Thank you for having us,” Sebastian replied smoothly, accepting the handshake firmly and maintaining eye contact the whole time, standing a few inches taller. Blaine moved around to lightly kiss Rachel’s cheek and smile a hello at Kurt, the two of them with matching frowns, before settling into a seat at the head of the table, leaving the chair next to Sam free for Sebastian.

The six of them arranged themselves and Mr Schuester started passing round the salad, seemingly oblivious to the excruciating awkwardness of the table, Blaine and Sam exchanging nervous looks as Rachel and Sebastian seemed to be in the middle of some staring contest. 

“How’s things with the Warblers Blaine?” Mr Schuster asked, smiling up at him as Rachel not so subtly rolled her eyes. “Must be nice for you to be back there.”

“Oh it’s great thanks, the guys are all so talented, and I really did miss Dalton.” He didn’t feel like pretending he hadn’t missed his old school anymore, the topic of it a little taboo over his last year at McKinley and being in New York, but the truth was being back at Dalton felt right, even if marred with a slight regret of leaving.

“Dude they’re awesome,” Sam added, shovelling food into his mouth. “They sound like professionals or something.”

Both Rachel and Kurt gave him offended looks, narrowing their eyes over the table at the football coach. “Sam, how do you even know what they sound like? You’re a member of staff at McKinley you kind of have to be on our side here,” Rachel complained as she glared at Sebastian, as if this was somehow all his fault. 

“Rach, you came and saw the Warblers the other day.” Blaine softly reminded her of their trip together in an attempt to redirect the conversation but it didn’t seem to have much positive effect, her glaring continuing. 

“Yeah it was just one time! Sebastian was heading over to Dalton and we were hanging out anyway so I just tagged along, it was just one rehearsal at the start of the year!” Sam desperately smiled around the table, as uncomfortable in confrontation as ever but trying to act in his role as mediator, eyes flickering back and forth the different expressions. 

Mr Schuester nodded, placing a quick hand on Rachel’s arm to settle her. “Yes, Sebastian - Kurt mentioned that you’re helping out with the Warblers, I’m assuming that’s an unofficial role?”

“Yeah, Blaine’s the faculty advisor there I just go along to help out when I’m not at work, and I only really do the choreography stuff anyway; I choreographed all the Warbler routines when I was at school,” Sebastian replied, in a voice which Blaine probably couldn’t classify as ‘friendly’ but it certainly wasn’t mean, so that was a relief. 

“You did a lot of other things in school too-”

“Ok thanks Rachel!” Blaine interrupted, shooting her a glare over the table as he attempted to stab some lettuce with his fork, heavily regretting agreeing to this. “Sebastian’s been very helpful this year, and he’s a much better dancer than I am so I really owe a lot of the Warblers success to him.”

She muttered something under her breath that sounded like “he’s also a much better blackmailer” but he tactfully chose to ignore that, instead listening to Mr Schuester start talking about his job at Carmel and the borderline psychotic kids he taught. 

Blaine felt a nudge under the table, feeling Sebastian’s ankle hook around his quickly, the taller man flashing him a quick smile and head tilt to check he was ok, and he nodded in return, feeling his cheeks warm up at the small comfort. He’d been more than apprehensive about how Sebastian would act in this fake relationship, not sure if he was going to be able to pull off being someone’s boyfriend, but as he placed a hand over Blaine’s atop the table, he realised there wasn’t much to worry about. At this rate he would be the one royally fucking up.

Mr Schuester continued on, sometimes with a small interjection from Rachel, but Blaine could feel Kurt’s eyes on him from across the room sending quick glances to him and Sebastian, their faces and entwined hands. A part of him felt guilty, showing up with a ‘boyfriend’ in front of his ex, especially one that he personally hated, but he also knew this was for the best, necessary to help him move on and forwards, distract him from the past. 

Sam was just finishing up some anecdote about football practice when there was a slight lull in conversation, Blaine finding time to bring up the events of the day. “I actually need your guy’s advice on something, I have a huge dilemma” he said, sighing as he played with the food on his plate. “A  _ girl _ wants to join the Warblers.”

Rachel narrowed her eyes slightly at him, “What’s the dilemma?”

“You cannot be on the wrong side of history here,” Mr Schue added, resting his chin on his hands to speak to Blaine, echoing Rachel’s sentiment. 

He nodded and waved his hands in surrender, getting an assuring look across the table from Sam. “I know guys, it’s just a little more complicated than that. The Warblers are pretty deep rooted in tradition, and it could cause a lot of problems for us. I want to let her audition, but also I’m only a faculty advisor. The final decision won’t be up to me anyway.”

There was a hum around the table, everyone’s faces thoughtful and complentative. It was an awkward discussion really, when they were each other’s ‘enemies’ at the moment, but Blaine trusted their honesty no matter what. 

“I still maintain you let her audition, let her show the guys what she can do and hope they make the right call, you and I both know although Dalton can be pretty traditional the rules can be molded.” Sebastian’s voice cut through the silence, echoing the original statement he made when Blaine had first told him about Jane. He’d made the point that both he and Blaine had been some of the more outspoken Warblers in the club's history, making drastic changes and switching things up, from traditions and conservatisms which could be stuffy and restricted - for better or worse. 

Sam nodded, lightly giving Sebastian a punch on the arm in agreement. “Definitely, give her a shot, then you’ve done the best you can anyway? I know you and Seb don’t actually get votes but you can at least give her a voice.” 

“Why exactly  _ do _ you help out the Warblers Sebastian?” Kurt asked from across the table. His tone wasn’t particularly accostary, sounding mainly curious although there was an underlying bitterness to it that didn't go unnoticed.

Sebastian looked at him, taking a long drink from his wine glass without breaking eye contact, before setting it back down on the table and letting his hand drape on top of Blaine’s again. “Well I only work part time at the law firm, and it’s only really administration stuff at the moment anyway, so I have a lot of free time.” He curled his fingers between Blaine’s, giving a light squeeze without moving his stare. “I came along to a rehearsal one day and saw the choreography was leaving a little to be desired so I offered some help and then never really left. I’ve been dancing for about 15 years and missed performing so it’s something fun for me.”

Kurt bit the inside of his cheek and nodded, knuckles white as he gripped his cutlery. “I’m sure that’s great, do the kids mind that the two of you are dating?” 

Sam laughed at that, snorting as he shoved a forkful of salad into his mouth. “Those guys basically refer to the two of them as ‘dads’, it’s not a problem.” Blaine narrowed his eyes at the blond, giving him a questioning look, as he hadn’t actually gotten around to telling the Warblers he and Sebastian were in a relationship yet, even if it was fake. His best friend just shrugged at him, continuing to chew. 

“It’s only for the year anyway, I’m going to Columbia next fall and Blaine will be off to college as well,” Sebastian added, taking another sip of wine. 

“You’re reapplying to NYADA? Oh that’s great Blaine!” Rachel’s confidence in her statement was baffling to him, as she was one of the people who knew best that college had ruined him, and the state it had gotten him into. He opened his mouth to politely tell her no, sorry, but Sebastian beat him to it.

“As if Berry, that place sucked the soul out of him, I doubt he would even go within a 10 block radius of it. He’s going to go somewhere to study his real passion, music education, what he  _ actually  _ wants to do.”

Usually Blaine would have a problem with someone speaking for him, but Sebastian’s instantaneous defence of him was just comforting, reminding him how much his friend cared. They’d discussed beforehand that when uncomfortable situations came up that the taller man would handle them, being able to control his emotions slightly better than Blaine could. Slightly.

However he also didn’t want someone to throw the salad bowl over the table so he intervened. 

“Um, yeah sorry Rachel I’m not reapplying to NYADA, it just wasn’t really right for me, I’m looking at different colleges now, hopefully starting next fall as well.” He gave her a soft smile somewhat apologetically, even though he knew he shouldn’t really have to. “But enough about next year, let’s just try and get through this one shall we?”

Luckily other people seemed to also steer the conversation away from the confrontation it had been leading towards, Mr Schuester clearing his throat to speak at the head of the table as Sebastian squeezed his hand slightly, tearing his eyes away from glaring at Rachel to check on him softly. 

“Let’s make sure we’re all on the same page then; we’re competitors but we’re still friends, so no playing dirty, no poaching, no sabotage or any of that stuff?

The way everyone’s head turned to look at Sebastian was almost funny, faces rotating in perfect synchronicity to stare at him, although he looked fairly unbothered, just rolling his eyes slightly.

“Don’t worry, I’m nice now remember,” he remarked, giving a particularly fake smile to Kurt and Rachel. “I’ve got Blaine here to keep me in check, you don’t think I’d be dumb enough to ruin that relationship.” Sebastian accented that with a single eyebrow raise, the undertones of his comment as clear as day as he glared at Kurt, as if daring him to say anything.

“It’s ok Rachel once sent someone to a crack house!” Sam blurted out, looking around the table with a bit of desperation. “I mean… what I meant to say...We’ve all done not great things with show choir, and made some mistakes we regret. But we’re all adults now, and we can all be friendly moving forwards!”

His best friend's blind optimism really was quite reassuring, and Blaine was yet again happy he was there, acting as a perfect mediator between some fairly volatile groups. “Exactly, as long as everyone sticks to the rules there’s no reason we still all can’t get along,” he agreed, sharing a warm smile with Sam. The sentiment wasn’t particularly echoed around the room.

~

“You know, it honestly didn’t go as badly as I thought it would.”

Blaine closed the door behind them and looked up at Sebastian, who was shrugging off his jacket as he moved through his apartment. “You also didn’t need to grab my ass and  _ wink _ at Kurt as we left, that probably undid anything good we accomplished. 

The other man just snorted a laugh and fell down onto the sofa, kicking off his shoes to stretch out across the furniture. “We were there for over two hours B, and I was on my best behaviour like, 90% of the time, I was allowed a little fun.” Blaine couldn’t deny that Rachel’s reaction was a little funny. 

He sighed and followed Sebastian over to the couch, taking off his own shoes more carefully and then settling down next to him, one leg tucked underneath himself and leaning against the arm rest. “Thank you again for doing all that, I know it was a lot to ask, and still  _ is _ a lot to ask. You didn’t sign up for any of this.”

Sebastian flicked on the tv and placed Blaine’s extended leg onto his own lap, lightly rubbing it. “I told you it’s ok - we spend enough time together it’s not much of a big deal, only thing that’s changed is that when we see your irritating old friends we have to pretend to be fucking, which is actually very amusing for me. I’d forgotten how much Hummel couldn’t stand the sight of me and honestly it makes me happy.”

“Well I think that says more about you than it does him,” Blaine laughed, relaxing into Sebastian’s touch. “But I know being in a room full of people that aren’t your biggest fans isn’t fun, even if you’re probably used to it by now.”

The tv was illuminating the room, along with a dim lamp in the corner, just the barest of light spreading across Sebastian’s apartment. It reflected onto the other man’s cheekbones, highlighting the dusting of freckles that covered his nose, green eyes catching in the light. Blaine didn’t think he’d ever get over how handsome Sebastian was. 

“I don’t care about any of their opinions Anderson, apart from Sam they all mean nothing to me.” Sebastian shrugged and pressed his fingers into Blaine’s calf, massaging lightly. “What pisses me off is how they can speak to you, act like their opinions on your future are the only correct ones, and how they use  _ me _ to criticise you.”

The taller man turned to look at him, the right side of his face in beautiful golden hues. “I know we’re not actually together, but the way Hummel and the rest are treating you badly because of a relationship with me, well it just shows they care more about the version of you they curated rather than who you actually are.”

Blaine paused at his words, biting down on his lip in thought. A part of him knew Sebastian was right - that so much of himself had been a projection of what other people wanted he had lost his sense of self, and their rejection of Sebastian did only prove that. No, they weren’t actually together, but they were still close enough friends now that the ex-Warbler was a cemented part of his life, and someone he had actively chosen to be in it, just like with Sam. 

“Thanks for sticking up for me Seb,” he said after a short pause, voice small underneath the audio of the television. 

“Don’t worry about it, someone has to remind Hummel he fucked up the best thing that would ever happen to him.” The fondness in Sebastian’s words warmed Blaine’s heart, unable to stop himself from smiling and he settled down onto the couch, head turning to watch the screen. 

They sat like that for a while, getting through two episodes before Blaine felt his eyes begin to droop, the longevity of the day starting to get to him as his cheek rested against the back of the sofa. Sebastian’s continued stroking of his legs didn’t help, as he had grabbed the other one to put on his lap half an hour ago and had massaged up his feet and calves. 

After the third big yawn in a row the taller man chuckled and leant forwards to switch off the tv, the lack of brightness from the screen dimming the room. 

“Alright killer don’t pass out on my couch, you’ll complain at me for weeks when your back hurts.” Sebastian lifted his legs and put them on the floor, standing up himself to stretch. “No way you’re driving home like this you will 100% get in a car crash and I don’t want that on my conscience. You take my room and I’ll stay on the sofa.”

Blaine furrowed his brow as he stood, cracking his neck slightly. “Don’t be stupid it’s your bed.”

“And I spent a large portion of my teenage years drunkenly passed out on many surfaces that weren't mattresses, so I think I’ll be fine on my very comfortable sofa,” Sebastian deadpanned, putting his hands on Blaine’s shoulders and pushing him towards the bedroom. “Feel free to look through all my stuff and steal my underwear, but if you try on my Dalton uniform please hang it back up after.”

He let himself be practically shoved into the bedroom, too tired to protest or argue as he made his way over to the bed, Sebastian lingering by the door frame. 

“We going into school tomorrow then? I’ll make sure we’re up in time.” Blaine nodded at his question, remembering they had Warbler rehearsals the next day, yawning and agreeing at the same time which just resulted in a groan coming out his mouth. 

Sebastian chuckled and shook his head fondly, exclaiming a “goodnight, B,” before closing the door behind him and leaving the room. Blaine stripped down to his underwear, climbing into the bed which of course was unbelievably comfortable, the mattress and sheets probably costing twice as much as his car.

As he settled in, cocooning himself in the duvet, he thought about how different Sebastian was - back in high school he probably would’ve made a series of suggestive comments about them sleeping together, saying they should make their fake relationship as ‘authentic’ as possible. But no, he took the couch without even thinking about it, or claiming himself as a gentleman, but instead just doing it as he thought it was right. 

Blaine’s eyes drifted shut, sinking into the mattress, but all he could think about was how he kind of wished Sebastian had stayed.


	2. i can do a backflip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another update!! thanks so much for the lovely support i've had so far it makes it worth it!!  
> shoutout to quinn for beta reading and just being my favourite person <3
> 
> updates should continue to be somewhat regular but maybe not every day, depends on my productivity and if i decide to actually do my uni work lol

Blaine groggily started to drag his eyes open, the light filtering in through the curtains forcing him awake, accompanied by the soft sound of music drifting under the door from the other room. He blinked a few times, frowning at his surroundings before remembering where he was, tangled in the soft and probably ridiculously expensive sheets of Sebastian’s bed, curled up against a pillow which smelt just like the taller man’s cologne. 

Before he thought too much about how he had definitely been cuddling it in his sleep, he shifted himself up the bed, pulling the duvet off as he went. Judging from the music and quiet clattering sounds, Sebastian was already up, and another flash of guilt went through him as he realised how awful a night’s sleep the other man must’ve had on the couch. 

As he swung his legs over the side of the bed, Blaine couldn’t help but think again how they should’ve just shared the bed, or more specifically, how he had wanted them to. Nope, it was too early for that kind of headspace.

He grabbed a t-shirt from the back of the desk chair - deciding that stepping out in just his boxers would be a little uncomely - and pushed through the door as he yanked it down over his head and made his way to the kitchen. 

Sebastian’s apartment was way too nice considering he was only there for a year, all natural light and spacious room. He had point blank refused to move back in with his dad, unlike Blaine who was crashing with his own parents, but they had different relationships with their families and this way would probably save a lot of passive aggressive comments and republican sensibilities. Moving through the hall and into the kitchen, the sound of Stevie Wonder got louder, lightly accompanied by Sebastian’s voice humming along. 

The taller man stood by the stove, coffee brewing next to him as he stood in his underwear singing softly, bobbing his head to the music as he poked at the pan in front of him. Blaine allowed his eyes to linger over the planes of muscle of Sebastian’s back and the movements of his biceps for a moment, before coughing slightly to alert his presence.

“You know, I’ve never seen you cook before?”

Sebastian’s head whipped round at his voice, smiling softly when he saw Blaine leaning against the counter. “There’s probably a good reason for that, I’m good at pretty much everything except cooking. Downside of growing up a rich kid with a new maid every two weeks.”

Blaine scoffed a little as he moved closer to reach the coffee, having been in this apartment enough over the last few months to know where everything was. “We could’ve just picked up something on the way to Dalton, no need to give me food poisoning.” Sebastian chuckled, grabbing two plates from the side and lightly kicking Blaine’s leg as he went past.

“And here I was, thinking I was being a lovely, domestic boyfriend. Keep up that attitude, Anderson, and we’ll be broken up by the weekend.” He served up the breakfast, still walking around the kitchen with utmost confidence, as if he wasn’t practically naked and it wasn’t the most distracting thing Blaine had ever seen. 

The two of them sat at the table, making their way through the food and chatting; remarks about the 70s playlist Sebastian was apparently listening to, the surprisingly edible breakfast, and the upcoming plan for the day. Blaine demanded he be the one to clear the table, still feeling guilty for taking the bed, so Sebastian got up to shower and get ready, informing him they had about half an hour before they would have to leave.

It was as he was loading the last mug into the dishwasher did Blaine realise he didn’t even have any spare clothes at Sebastian’s, and definitely could not wear the shirt he wore last night - he had sweat through that within minutes of the dinner party from hell.

They didn’t have time to swing by Blaine’s parents house, not when Sebastian only lived a short drive from Dalton so they’d already left it too late, and this was just all his perfect luck. Not only was he going to have to try and bring up Jane and that whole ordeal to them, he was going to have to do it wearing something of Sebastian’s, who was a good 5 inches taller. 

He rifled through the wardrobe when he got back into the bedroom, having pulled on his own trousers and undershirt, not even noticing when the door opened. 

“I know I told you you can look through my stuff, but I sort of figured you’d do it last night.”

Blaine rolled his eyes, turning round to flip off Sebastian, who was standing there in a towel dangled very low around his hips, drops of water trailing down the dips in his muscles in a way that was way too erotic for 8am on a Thursday, whatever insult that was on the tip of his tongue melting away.

His staring was probably fairly obvious due to Sebastian’s infuriating wink, who just walked over and stood next to him, pulling out a jumper from his wardrobe, their bare arms brushing just for a second, causing Blaine’s face to heat up immeasurably. 

“Take this, it’s too small for me anyway so you’ll look like you’re going through puberty rather than starting middle school.”

“Haha, short jokes never get old,” Blaine deadpanned, taking the jumper from Sebastian’s hands with a sarcastic smile, still trying to fight off the blush on his cheeks. Honestly looking that naked and that attractive this early in the morning was just disrespectful - or maybe it was just the fact he hadn’t gotten laid since the breakup. 

Shaking his head to get rid of any thoughts about getting laid as this was not the time, Blaine gave a nod of thanks to Sebastian and left the bedroom so the other man could get dressed, not wanting to risk staying any longer as he didn’t think Sebastian would have any issues with just dropping the towel. 

He pulled the jumper over his head, luckily not ridiculously big on him and still fairly professional, and tried to ignore how much it smelt like the other man, and how much he liked it.

~

The car ride to work was the same as it always was when they drove in together; mild squabbling over the radio, singing as obnoxiously as they could, and Sebastian always telling Blaine to go faster. It was a routine that he was starting to realise was one of his favourites, those three days a week that they’d carpool to Dalton, and the rehearsals that Sebastian didn’t take part in because of work were so much more disappointing. 

Walking down the school halls together was still the strangest part of the whole experience though, heading to the senior commons side by side, down the corridors that they had both frequented every day but in different years. Dalton and Sebastian had never been something he had experienced together, apart from two small occasions, and it still sometimes was a little like his worlds colliding. 

But as they made their way to rehearsals, Sebastian still chatting away about something Nick had said to him on the phone yesterday, Blaine realised that although being here at Dalton with him was different, it felt like another chapter that just made sense. 

“You know he actually said we should invite Hunter to our next reunion? God I’d rather the fucking cat came instead of him, I think we should uninvite Duval just for suggesting it.”

He tore his mind away from his deep reflective monologue and looked at Sebastian, who was staring at him expectantly as they approached the double doors. 

“Oh I don’t know, he could spice things up a bit, maybe do a backflip for us,” he replied with a teasing smile, letting himself laugh at Sebastian’s affronted frown.

“I can do a backflip,” he pouted, pushing into the senior commons where the crowd of Warblers were already waiting for them, chatting casually. 

Blaine winked at him, patting him on the arm. “Of course you can Seb.” He clapped his hands and strode to the front of the room, the council already seated. 

~

It went about as well as he thought it would - loud uproar, various complaining, overdramatic gasping and thinly veiled misogyny. Skylar had tried banging on the gavel to get everyone’s attention but he’d never quite had the command over it Wes had, and it had taken a while for everyone to settle down.

Blaine had tried his best to plead her case, but some of them just started spouting about sexual tension and periods and it was only fear of arrest that held him back from wanting to punch some of them. It had taken Sebastian for any of them to calm down, as the other man first criticised their sexism and just plain drama, then said that they didn’t even know if she could sing, so surely they should let her audition first?

The Warblers always listened to Sebastian, even if they grumbled about it. He reckoned part of it was his reputation - a few of them had actually been at school with him and those who didn't knew the stories of his leadership all too well, so they knew he meant business. Blaine’s reigning status as Warbler legend still remained though, so he wasn’t particularly threatened. 

Eventually, they had come to the agreement that she should audition, and the process should go ahead as normal, giving her the same opportunity as everyone else. Sebastian had even looked somewhat proud at their decision, a smile lasting about three seconds before he made everyone go through last week’s choreography drills, twice. 

Rehearsal continued as normal, the two of them directing the guys but letting them do their own thing a lot of the time - Blaine knew one of the best bits about the Warblers was the control they had over their own setlists and direction, so he never tried to overstep. Sebastian had more trouble letting go of control but they found that the kids were pretty willing to ask for his help with the dancing once he’d shown he was arguably better than the rest of them. Not that Blaine would ever admit that. 

It wasn’t until the Warblers were just finishing up, warming down and starting to stretch, that he realised they still hadn’t said anything that they were ‘dating’. Over dinner he’d made that claim none of the guys had an issue with it and everything was fine, so now there were pretty high expectations as to how it needed to go. 

Although, Sam had said that they were all supportive of it, even though they weren’t even together, so maybe that was a good sign?

“Hey Seb, do you think we should tell the guys about our little arrangement?” Blaine asked, speaking quietly into the other man’s ear, eyes on the Warblers packing away. 

Sebastian scrunched his face and turned to look at him, head tilted. “That their coaches are pretending to date? This isn’t McKinley people would actually find that weird. We’ll just say we’re in a relationship, these kids won’t care they’re all closeted anyway.”

Blaine shrugged a little, pointing at James and shaking his head to get him to stop hitting Tom. “Yeah I know, just is it appropriate to even tell them? Like it’s our personal lives.”

“We’re not their history teachers killer we’re they’re coaches, and we coach together. You know these kids they’ll be offended if we don’t tell them. Plus when we’re at sectionals we’re gonna have to be ‘together’ as the devil spawn twins from McKinley will be there.” Sebastian nudged their shoulders together, speaking in that matter of fact, blunt way of his, that just seemed to explain everything so much better than his brain ever could when it was spiralling a bit. The ‘devil spawn’ comment was a little out of bounds, but still.

He found himself nodding, caught a little in those green eyes before he cleared his throat and looked away, scanning the room at the Warblers. 

“Uh, guys? Before you go I need to tell you something,” Blaine announced, gesturing for them all to stand around. “You know I want us all to be a pretty tight knit team here, so I think it’s best if we’re all open with each other.” He swallowed slightly, feeling Sebastian’s hand coming to rest on his lower back and starting to rub small circles with his thumb, easing his anxieties a bit.

“We just thought you should all know that Sebastian and I are actually in a relationship.”

Blaine paused, expecting some form of reaction whether good or bad, not the blank faces that stared up at them. 

“Um, yeah? We all knew that Mr Anderson?” Michael said slowly, eyebrows raised. “You’ve been dating the entire time you’ve been coaching us it’s pretty obvious.”

There was a general murmur of consensus around the room, most of them just looking a little bored and as if they wanted to leave, Blaine opening and closing his mouth as his brain seemingly failed. 

“I mean come on Mr Anderson you’re literally wearing Sebastian’s clothes,” Ben laughed, pointing over. “I think we can all put two and two together and figure out you’re fuc-

“Ok guys that’s it for today!” Blaine shouted, cutting off whatever extremely inappropriate comment was going to come out of the Warbler’s mouth, ignoring the blush rapidly rising on his cheeks. “We’ll see you later, enjoy the day.”

The kids all started streaming out, casting back amused looks at their coaches standing at the front of the room, laughing and chatting amongst themselves. Sebastian moved from next to him, walking over to start collecting sheet music with an entertained smile on his face.

“I told you it would be fine, we’re their dads.”

Blaine just groaned and fought off his blush, bringing a hand up to rub the back of his neck. “Please stop saying that, I’m not even 20 yet I’m too young to be a father.” Sebastian raised his eyebrows from across the room and looked as if he was trying to fight off a grin, which just left him seeming smug and irritating. And hot.

“But you were old enough to get married?” he teased, shuffling papers between his hands. They’d spoken enough about the wedding for jokes not to be untoward by now, although he would admit he did lean over and swat Sebastian on the arm with a fair amount of force. 

The taller man mock gasped and took a step back, hand clasped to his chest. “Wow, what if one of the children saw? They can’t grow up in a broken home?” Blaine tried very hard not to laugh and give Sebastian the satisfaction, but the corners of his mouth twitching betrayed him. 

It wasn’t surprising to him how easily they joked around and had fun, not when their initial friendship all those years ago had pretty much consisted of them texting stupid stuff back and forth just trying to get each other to laugh, Sebastian never taking much seriously. Now, it was less like he didn’t care about anything and more just that _he_ was lighter, enjoying making Blaine happy and letting himself relax more, not hiding behind deeper worries with sarcasm and quips. 

Blaine knew there was still some suppressed issues there - family based primarily, but far from the angry, dangerously competitive boy he first met. Well, Sebastian was still pretty competitive but in a much healthier way now at least. 

It had been through his time with Sebastian that Blaine had managed to crawl out of his depressive hole and he really owed a lot of his current stability to him, the way they joked around together and could relax; if someone had made a crack about his engagement a few months ago he probably would’ve just dissolved on the spot. 

As they moved around the senior commons together, putting away music and reshuffling the sofas, Blaine reminded himself how lucky he was to have the other man, and how he really was good at pretending to be his boyfriend. He didn’t let his mind wander to if that’s how it would be if it were real.

He didn’t.

~

“I can’t believe it, I mean we agreed no poaching? That was one of the only rules we had and they managed to break it within a week?”

Blaine’s knuckles were white on the steering wheel as they drove over to the bar they were meeting Sam, Mike, Tina and Santana at, his eyes glaring out the windshield viciously. He was still fuming with anger about the whole Jane situation, how she hadn’t even got the chance to audition for the Warblers before the New Directions had swiped in and gotten her.

Sebastian put his hand on his thigh comfortingly, the other resting by the window. “Want me to slash their tires? Get Nick to do another photoshop job to blackmail them with?”

“Bit of rock salt?” Blaine added, meaning for it to come out as a joke but his overwhelming anger made it seem more serious, Sebastian’s hand tensing on his leg. “Shit, sorry, that was in bad taste...I’m just pissed off, ignore me.”

The taller man nodded, despite his grip not relaxing much. “You know...you know how guilty I still feel about that, how I wish it-”

“Sebastian.” Blaine interrupted, dropping one hand down to place it over his, fingers slightly laced together. “You’ve spent the last 2 years apologising, I know, ok? Just this stuff with Jane and Kurt has got me rubbed the wrong way.”

“It’s just frustrating, she didn’t even audition, the Olsen twins of show choir snapped her up claiming ‘she shouldn’t be made to wait’, when it was just a selfish grab on their part.” Sebastian sighed out heavily, staring out the window as they pulled up to the bar, sun setting. “I really think the guys would’ve let her in as well, I made sure to speak to them.”

Blaine parked the car, switching off the engine and turned to look at Sebastian next to him, lightly prodding him in the leg. “Yeah, it sucks. But there isn’t anything we can do now apart from keep doing our best and beat them at sectionals, so for now, let’s go and drunk with friends and abandon this car in the parking lot til tomorrow morning, yeah?”

The promise of alcohol always seemed to cheer Sebastian up, who tried to keep his bitch face on as he clambered out the car, but the cracks of a smile betrayed him. “Why is Lopez even coming? I thought Sam was scared of her anyway.” 

Santana was back for the McKinley homecoming just like some others of the glee club alumni, her Mike, Tina, and Sam meeting them at a bar just outside Lima. It had been Sam’s idea to invite her actually, claiming he thought it would be nice for her and Sebastian as he thought they’d get along, plus he’d been trying to arrange to see her anyway without having Kurt and Rachel around. Blaine had invited Tina, who in turn invited Mike, and the six of them made plans to have a night out. 

When he started at McKinley he had kind of struggled to fit in, and Mike was one of the first to really welcome him. Obviously Sam and Tina became the two people he wouldn’t have survived without, the three of them making memories that weren’t entwined with Kurt, like so much of his high school experience was. And although Santana had lived with his ex, she wasn’t exactly one to play sides in the breakup. Plus, her and Sebastian really would get along. 

“Sam’s not scared of her, they’re actually sort of friends now. She’ll entertain the bad stuff you wanna say about Rachel and Kurt anyway and give you more material so I wouldn’t complain.” That appeased Sebastian more, nodding as they walked over to the bar together - Blaine drove, but had no intention of actually driving back, the realisation they should’ve got a cab coming way too late. 

Sebastian pushed inside and they waded through, the place somewhat busy but not overcrowded at least, Blaine managing to spot their friends in the far corner. Sam saw them first, standing up to wave and beckon them to the table as Sebastian took Blaine’s hand in his and led them over, fingers entwined. He knew it was to make their relationship more believable, but the touch still felt affirming. 

“Hey guys! Saved you two seats.” Sam pulled them both in for a hug at once, ending up in the three of them sort of holding one another in the middle of the bar, and yeah Blaine may have thought about being between these two men before. 

The blond released them, and Blaine made his way round to the table, leading Sebastian with their hands still together, greeting everyone else. He managed to give Tina a kiss on the cheek and shake hands with Mike, exchanging a smile with Santana that seemed mostly genuine on her behalf. There were notable stares at Sebastian whoever, who when sat down immediately draped an arm around Blaine’s shoulders, keeping them close. 

“Alright twink?” Santana looked at Sebastian across the table with her arms crossed, one eyebrow raised and face unmoving, as if quietly assessing what she was going to do next. Tina was glaring with a similar expression whereas Mike just offered a smile and wave. 

“Let’s just get this whole ‘protect Blaine and don’t hurt him’ thing over shall we?” Sebastian deadpanned, fingers tracing lines on his shoulder. “Yes, I used to be an asshole who did some pretty fucked up stuff. Yes, I have apologised and I don’t do shit like that anymore. I care about Blaine, and I know he’s probably too good for me, but I’m not gonna do anything to hurt him, ok? Now I’m going to go get us all a round, so you’re welcome.”

With that Sebastian leant in, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before standing up to head to the bar, the lingering feeling of his lips still tingling on Blaine’s face. Santana paused for a second, then got up with him and accompanied him to the bar, presumably to offer some shovel talk and then make him buy her shots, 

Next to Blaine, Tina turned and put her elbow on the table to fix him with her most terrifying face - one that was used often in senior year.

“So why didn’t you tell us you were dating Sebastian Smythe? I don’t think I need to list off all the bad shit he’s done Blaine, if this is just to get back at Kurt-”

“It’s not to get back at Kurt TT,” he sighed, hoping to get this inevitable conversation over with before Sebastian got back. “Look, Sam will back me up, but Sebastian isn’t the 16 year old we knew in high school, he’s good to me. He helps out with the Warblers, unpaid, takes care of me, makes me smile, feel good about myself - he is exactly what I need right now.”

The words kind of surprised him, how easily they all came out. Although they weren’t really together, he guessed their friendship meant enough to him that Sebastian really had been the person to help him through the last few months, enough that all of that was true. 

“I think we’ve all done stuff we regret, especially back in high school.” Mike’s voice interrupted Tina’s rage look, as he reached over to gently touch her arm. “Why bring up old drama when we can try and be happy now?”

Blaine could’ve kissed Mike, but settled on giving him a grateful smile as Tina visibly calmed down, clearly not all her feelings for her ex had gone away. “Alright Blainey Days, I just want you to be happy.”

“Sebastian can’t even beat me at Smash Bros, he can’t be evil,” Sam chimed in, beaming across the table. 

“That’s because if I beat you, you get that annoying kicked puppy look and it makes me feel bad Evans, it has nothing to do with skill.”

Sebastian and Santana arrived back at the table, trays of drinks in hand with smirks on their faces which let Blaine know that they had both already done at least one shot, and were getting on as well as he hoped they wouldn’t. Sam immediately launched into a long winded reply, listing off different techniques and game tactics as Sebastian resumed his earlier position of an arm around Blaine, pulling him into his side. 

Drinks were passed around, and friendly chatter set in, everyone taking turns detailing what they’d been up to, how college was going and sharing some old stories. Sebastian spoke about his year off in Paris, managing to impress even Tina with his anecdotes, as well as recounting how he and Blaine reconnected - although he did ‘romance’ it up a little with some of the details, including how he felt when they saw each other. 

Another round was bought, and then another, with the added bonus of shots for the table, each drink closing any distance between him and Sebastian. They were supposed to be dating, it was fine, but Blaine found himself unable to stop tangling their ankles together under the table, resting his head on that broad shoulder and snaking an arm around his waist, just wanting to be close.

Luckily, Sebastian was just committed to their act as he was, often pressing light kisses onto his skin or raking a hand loosely through his curls, leaning into Blaine’s side as much as he was. He couldn’t help but love the contact; he had been alone for so long that he was just desperate for someone to be close, and if he found Sebastian’s touch, and the smell of his cologne, particularly intoxicating, well then that was just convenient. 

“So, John Mulaney, what’s your plan for next year when you’re in New York and gay hobbit may not be?”

Santana’s question cut off Blaine from being in the middle of a very serious Mariah Carey debate with Tina, perking his hearing to try and listen in. He felt the man next to him shrug slightly, taking a sip of his cocktail before answering.

“Well he’s applied to some New York colleges, so we may be in the same city, but honestly, we’ll just see when we get there, I suppose. Blaine’s education comes first, we’ll only do long distance if he thinks it’ll be good for him, and whatever we decide it’ll be a joint decision. I - I don’t really wanna let him go, but it’s not up to me.”

He pretended to not be listening, keeping staring at Tina as she continued her rant but not processing any of it, just focusing on Sebastian’s words - so selfless, and frankly spoken as if he didn’t even need to think for a second about how he’d put Blaine first, make decisions together. 

Unconsciously he leant closer into the other man’s side with a hand on his thigh drawing patterns, tracing up and down, and he felt a kiss underneath his ear when Sebastian started talking to Mike about his latest recital. 

Blaine was pleased with how well the two of them were getting on, not too surprised given their similar dance backgrounds and strict families, and he knew both he and Tina were staring at them talking more often than not, much to the disgust of Santana. They shared stories about trying to do the choreography for their respective show choirs, and the absolute lack of coordination the groups seemed to have - as a member of both, Blaine took offence. 

But also as a member of both, he could see where they were coming from.

“You coming to homecoming?” Mike asked, after Sebastian finished a story about trying to get Nick and Meatbox to be able to do a kick ball change without falling over. Blaine looked at him, as whilst they had broached the topic, it hadn’t been explicitly discussed. 

“If he wants to, I’d like to have him there.” Again, he knew they were only pretending to date but the words still sounded so true to him, as he found himself agreeing with the sentiment, and not just because Kurt would be in attendance. 

Sam nodded as he downed the rest of his pint, rather aggressively slamming it down on the table. “Dude you gotta come! Lots of people bring their partners, and also you’ve already been to McKinley a bunch of times, so like, it’s not as if you’re a stranger.”

Sebastian pressed a kiss into Blaine’s hair, arm tightening around his waist slightly. “Yeah I’ll come along, you reckon if I wear my Dalton uniform someone will try and throw me in the fire?”

“Uh, yes. It’ll be me, I’ll be the one throwing you,” Santana replied, flicking her scrunched up napkin over the table. “Plus there’s no way that thing still fits, you were an actual twig in high school, I could’ve snapped you over my knee.”

Blaine felt his hand reach up and gripped Sebastian’s bicep before he could even stop himself, the alcohol making him giggle. “I reckon he could squeeze into it.” The entire table groaned, Tina rolling her eyes at the two of them and waved her hand. 

“Ok I really _don’t_ want to hear about you two fucking in your Dalton uniforms, jesus Blaine.” Santana copied her expression and finished her drink whilst shaking her head. 

“N-no, uh, we d-don’t!” Blaine sputtered, feeling his face turn more red with every word whilst Sam and Sebastian just cackled next to him, probably both at how much he was blushing and also the only two who knew they weren’t even together. 

“I don’t know killer, those ties really come in handy.” Sebastian accented that with a wink and another kiss to the neck, letting his teeth graze along the skin ever so slightly which really shouldn’t have made his knees as weak as it did. 

“God, shut up, Smythe, please,” Tina moaned, throwing one of her ice cubes over at the taller man who was just laughing, accepting Sam’s fist bump. Thankfully the conversation topic changed after that, the group talking about the upcoming homecoming and which alumni would be in attendance, even if Blaine could only focus on the thought of Dalton ties for the next half an hour. 

After a particularly rousing round of arm wrestling that only happened as they were all way too drunk to socialise properly, Mike and Tina said their goodbyes, claiming early mornings the next day but even Blaine could tell they were going to hook up, hands meeting and lingering glances.

Santana wolf whistled them leaving, then shuffled round to sit next to Sebastian, kicking Sam off his chair so he was forced to stand up and move to be next to Blaine, not that he was complaining. His best friend started chatting to him about the football team for a bit, listing off different rankings and players, as Blaine desperately tried not to listen in to the conversation next to him too much. 

He could hear a few words, mostly just ‘Brittney’, but occasionally ‘Hummel’ and ‘Gayface’, which was one he hadn’t heard in a while. The two of them were speaking in fairly quiet tones however, different from the loud shouting they’d been doing all night, seemingly not caring about public decorum.

“Hey, bud, you hear what I said? I gotta leave, bro.”

Blaine blinked a few times and looked at Sam who was waving a hand in his face, chuckling a little at the way he’d just been completely out of it. 

“You should probably drink some water before you go, man, but yeah, I gotta head. I’ll catch you at homecoming, I reckon?” He felt himself nod and smile, Sam taking that as a yes and clapping him on the shoulder, dragging himself up from the chair. 

“Hang on, Trouty, I’m coming too, can’t leave Britt alone much longer or she’ll get lost in her house again,” Santana added, standing up as well but with a little more dignity than Sam did. The two of them said their goodbyes, staggering out the bar just leaving Blaine and Sebastian at the table, half sitting on one another at that point, arms barely having left each other’s bodies all night. 

He was very conscious of the fact that there was no longer any reason to have to pretend to be together, any reason to touch each other or act as if they were in a relationship, but Blaine also _really_ didn’t want to let go. Enough alcohol had been consumed that he felt little shame in staring, letting his eyes follow the dip of Sebastian’s collarbone that was barely visible under his t-shirt, the veins in his arms rippling with every movement, the way that a sliver of hipbone would show if his body adjusted in the right way. 

“We should probably get you home, huh, killer?” Sebastian’s voice registered in his head - and, god, had he always sounded so _sexy_ ? - even if the words necessarily didn’t, and Blaine was starting to regret his seventh cocktail and the fact he was such a lightweight, finding himself nodding and standing up. The taller man chuckled, wrapping an arm around his waist as they walked out the bar, Blaine leaning against his side with his nose pressed into his neck, Sebastian’s cologne and a scent that was so unmistakably _him_ filling his senses, smelling comforting and familiar, as well as turning him on a bit as well. 

They sat on the curb, waiting for the cab that had been called, with their knees pressed against their chests and arms around one another, the slight hum of the streetlight vibrating in the distance.

“I had a good time tonight, surprisingly,” Sebastian offered, speaking as if he was musing through the idea himself. “I’d never admit this sober, but I was pretty nervous, seeing people from McKinley. I know how bad I was back then, it serves as a bit of a shit reminder.”

Blaine found himself frowning and attempting to shake his head, although that just made him feel a little nauseous. “You weren’t bad, Seb, you were...complicated. And angry, and just...a bit of a dick.” 

He heard Sebastian chuckle at that, body vibrating slightly with the sound. “Yeah, ok, thanks, Anderson.” Before Blaine could try and form the words to dispute further, the other man continued. “I like to think I’m better now - less competitive, malicious, snobby. I like to think meeting you changed me for the better, but sometimes I’m not sure. When I’m with you now I just… it’s hard to feel like I’m good enough for someone like you.”

“But…” Blaine scrunched his face a bit, hearing their taxi approach down the road. “We’re not together, Seb, so it’s ok.”

There was a pause, then the other man pulled away and stood up, staring at the car pulling up. 

“Yeah, yeah, it’s ok.” 

He didn’t really have time to register the change in Sebastian’s voice, the way his throat caught a little and pitch lowered, before having to stand and get in the cab, the world swaying as he did. 

The moment he collapsed onto the seat and his head found Sebastian’s shoulder he was asleep, barely even remembering being dropped off at his house and put to bed by the other man, who went back to his apartment after stroking Blaine’s hair until he fell back asleep.

~

Honestly, Blaine had somewhat forgotten about McKinley homecoming the last few days, focusing heavily on the Warblers and being distracted by his slight mess of a personal life. 

For a few days after their bar trip Sebastian had been a little weird, even missing a rehearsal, but thankfully had sorted out whatever had been wrong in time for the alumni event as Blaine really didn’t want to have to go alone. 

Being back at the place he spent his junior and senior years would be strange, not just because he was technically it’s competitor again, but because the buildings held so many meanings and memories that were so disconnected from him now.

Mainly, Kurt meanings and memories. 

However he couldn’t focus on that, he couldn’t allow himself to get sucked into a false nostalgia that would just end up making him feel worse and get annoyingly emotional, so instead he had to channel on all the good. Like, becoming friends with Sam and Tina, being senior class president, performing on stage. There could be good taken from the bad, and he didn’t regret his time at McKinley. 

He did know that Sebastian, on the other hand, regretted everything to ever be do to with McKinley, having repeatedly conveyed his dislike for the school and practically anything that could be associated with it, not limited to the dress code of the night. 

“Red? Are they serious? The only red I’d ever wear is the small amount on the Dalton uniforms and that was because it was wonderfully overshadowed by how sexy I looked in the blazer.”

Blaine rolled his eyes and continued shuffling through Sebastian’s wardrobe, tossing any viable option on the bed. “Are you seriously trying to suggest you don’t think you’d look sexy in any of these? Doesn’t sound like the narcissist that I know.”

A shirt was thrown at the back of his head in protest, just making him laugh more. 

“I look sexy in everything and you know it Anderson - I just don’t want anyone actually thinking I went to McKinley, I’d rather be shot in the knee,” Sebastian replied from where he was lying on the bed, not helping as per usual. 

They were already running a bit later than they should and Blaine _really_ didn’t want to cause any more of a scene than the two of them probably would, so just pulled out a red henley and threw it over, turning around to fix the man on the bed with his most demanding look. 

“Put it on, throw a jacket over it. We were supposed to leave 5 minutes ago do you really want to leave Sam waiting?” That seemed to win him over, as he made a face but stood up anyway, whipping off his current top over his head. 

Blaine averted his eyes, not needing to get distracted by those stupid abs again, and stared pointedly at the wall until Sebastian was fully dressed, hair a bit ruffled from where it had been messed up by changing. 

He took a few steps forwards, reaching up to try and smooth out the mop of hair on top of the other man’s head, on hand stroking over the top and the other down the sides, his fingers threading lightly through it. Their eyes met, green staring into gold, and Blaine felt his breath catch in his throat at the way Sebastian’s pupils visibly grew, flickering down to his lips.

“Uh, you were a bit messy,” he stuttered, stepping back quickly and straightening out his own jacket, putting some distance between them. Sebastian cleared his throat and nodded, leaning down to put his phone in his pocket. 

“Thanks - you’re leaving your hair like that right?” The taller man pointed towards Blaine’s own head, which was currently gel free and natural. 

He blushed and touched it, almost automatically going to smoothen it out. “Oh, I was maybe going to put something in it, just a little.”

“No way, leave it like that, you look great killer,” came Sebastian’s automatic reply, pushing his hand away from his head. “I mean do what makes you comfortable but if you put any gel in those curls I’ll probably throw a tantrum or something.”

Blaine just rolled his eyes and tried to suppress a chuckle as they headed out the bedroom to the front door, collecting keys as they went. “You’re probably going to throw a tantrum anyway Seb, that’s a pretty empty threat.”

“I’ll just have to cop a feel to calm myself down I guess.”

“I hate you.”

~

McKinley really had gone all out for this, the sounds of cheering and chanting echoing through the car park as they pulled up, the sun having set by the time they arrived. Sam had already texted him to say that he and the others were there, the New Directions alumni gathered by the bleachers and the bonfire, which Sebastian had announced was a very stupid fire risk. 

They both clambered out of the car, Blaine grabbing the other man’s hand as they walked over, not just to show the nature of their ‘relationship’, but also he couldn’t help but realise how well they fit together. Honestly, he wasn’t too sure what to expect from the night, not planning on staying ridiculously long as he’d seen most of the people he was closest with the few nights prior, and wanted to avoid as much of a scene as possible. 

Yes, he was aware that bringing Sebastian Smythe along was not really the thing to do for that.

“You alright?” The taller man’s question snapped him out of his thinking, fingers squeezing just a little around his own. “If you wanna escape at any point just like, do a bird call or something and I’ll make a distraction for us.”

Blaine knew he was being lighthearted to distract and calm him down a bit, but the genuine concern was comforting. He looked up and found those green eyes boring into him and let himself smile, “I’m good, just try not to push anyone into the fire yeah?”

Sebastian scoffed and swung up their connected hands so his arm became wrapped around Blaine’s shoulder, tugging him close into his side. “I’m making zero promises, if Berry starts singing show tunes I won’t be in control of my actions.” 

He chose not to dignify that with a response, although given the recent tensions between show choirs it was difficult to disagree. At least he’d talked Sebastian out of wearing the Dalton uniform, if not mainly because since the other man’s comments he couldn’t think about it without getting a little turned on.

“Blaine! Seb! Over here!”

Sam’s voice rang out from underneath the bleachers where he was jogging over from, grinning and relaxed. “So glad you guys could make it, I know it’s a little awkward with all the glee stuff but you’re still my best bro, you know that right?” Sam exclaimed, clasping Blaine on the shoulder and smiling at him, filling him with appreciation and comfort. 

  
“I know, thanks for being so cool man. We’re here for homecoming, not as Warblers or whatever, hopefully we can all just enjoy ourselves.” Blaine returned the smile, Sebastian being tugged into a hug from the blond as well. 

For some reason his heart melted a little at the way his two closest people were totally at ease with each other, chatting away about football as the three of them walked over to the rest of the old glee club. 

Tina spotted them first, running over to hug Blaine as if she didn’t just see him a few days ago, Mike and Artie waving at him from where he was somewhat smushed against her shoulder. She was talking his ear off about something or the other, pulling back to give Sebastian a nod and a half smile - a _lot_ more than he expected from her - before turning her attention back to Blaine as they carried on walking over. 

The rest of the McKinley alumni were all stood together, chatting amicably amongst themselves and drinking out of plastic cups, next to a rather large bonfire that was most definitely Sue’s idea of ‘safe’. He spotted Kurt and Rachel, still annoyed about Jane but not wanting to have anything to do with glee clubs tonight, not when it was supposed to be a celebration, so just gave a small smile and turned his attention to say hi to Quinn.

Behind him he could hear that Santana had found Sebastian thankfully, the two of them in conversation with Brittney and Sam largely out of the way of everyone else, and he was just happy no one had made a scene yet. Really, it was too good to be true. 

“Are we all just going to pretend that Blaine’s not fucking asshole Warbler then?”

And why was he surprised? 

Puck’s interruption caused most people’s heads to turn, Quinn shooting him an apologetic look as their conversation was cut off. An arm settled around his shoulders and Blaine felt Sebastian shift to stand next to him, face calm but stony as he stared. 

“I do have a name you know,” he replied, sounding somewhat bored but direct. “I’m only here as Blaine’s boyfriend, we really don’t need to cause a scene do we?”

And wow, he was proud of Sebastian for not trying to actually escalate a situation for once, steely gaze over at Puckerman pretty conclusive. 

“The twink’s alright, and that’s coming from me, so,” Santana piped up with, arm around Britttney’s waist. “I mean he actually came here when everyone hates him so that’s something.” Sebastian turned to look at her with a fond annoyance and she just winked back, her comment alleviating a bit of the tension as people shrugged and seemed to be unbothered.

“That’s good enough for me,” Puck supplied with a wave of his hand. “Sue scored some illegal fireworks that are about to start, let’s go.” He started off towards the bigger crowd of people, an assortment of alumni and students alike all decked out in red. Blaine watched Kurt and Rachel toss him a look over their shoulders before they followed, Quinn and Mercedes accompanying them talking away. 

He couldn’t help but tilt his head to look at Sebastian, a proud smile on his face at his ‘boyfriend’s’ actions, causing him to roll his eyes and shove at his arm in fake annoyance, edges of his lips quirked up. Sam came to drag them away, eyes lighting up at the mention of fireworks and talking excitedly about the different colours Sue had ordered, nearly tripping over his feet as they went. 

Blaine found himself sitting between Sebastian’s legs on a spare picnic blanket when the fireworks went off, his back pressed closely against the taller man’s chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heart to centre him. They were a little away from everybody, enough that they probably didn’t need to commit to the whole ‘couple’ thing as much, but it was probably better to be safe than sorry. 

Sebastian dropped his cheek on top of his curls, an arm skating around Blaine’s waist to pull him slightly closer and he felt their bodies just, _melt_ against one another, feeling his toes curl slightly at the contact. He shivered unconsciously, feeling his skin prickle with goosebumps from a combination of the cold air and the intimacy of what they were doing; something that was becoming more regular but still never lost it’s impact. 

“You cold?” Sebastian murmured against his ear, breath hot. Before he could even reply the taller man was leaning back, arms removed from his waist and there was an odd shuffling motion, somewhat wiggling coming from behind him. Then, a warm layer was placed over his shoulders as Sebastian draped his jacket on top of him, heavy and comforting as it completely enveloped Blaine in the scent of the other man. 

They had a slight height difference, he could admit, and even if he was broader than Sebastian the material was still too large as he slipped his arms in, blushing slightly as he inhaled the smell of his cologne. “Uh, thanks Seb,” he managed to say as the other man resumed his previous position of arms around his waist and cheek atop his head. 

“Don’t worry about it, if you die of hypothermia I’ll be stuck here with these losers, can’t have that now can we,” Sebastian chuckled into his curls as a particular large firework went off, exploding into the air in a sea of blue and red. “Think we have an audience though.”

Blaine frowned at that, confused as to what the comment meant until Sebastian nudged his head over towards the other side of the bleachers where Kurt and Rachel were sat, glancing over at the two of them not so subtly. 

“Oh,” he whispered, feeling somewhat guilty for their blatant display of affection. The man beneath him rubbed circles on his waist slightly, fireworks still exploding in front of them. “Sorry, god I’d wish they stop, it’s not fun for anyone.”

“Isn’t it what you wanted? Make Hummel jealous?” Sebastian asked quietly, voice a little smaller than it had been all evening. Blaine froze up a bit, tensing at his question, because no - no he wasn’t doing this to make Kurt jealous, but had Sebastian thought that the whole time?

He turned slightly, still tucked in close to the taller man’s arms but so he could see his face, green eyes softly illuminated by the steady glow of the fireworks, casting a kaleidoscope of colours across his cheekbones. “This isn’t to make Kurt jealous Seb...that’s not why we’re doing it. I don’t want him back, I haven’t for months.”

Sebastian’s eyes searched his face, softly staring with a sort of unreadable curiosity, noses a few inches for each other. “So why are we doing this?” 

The second question caught him further off guard, having to blink a few times before his brain could form a response. “I told you...Kurt said he wanted me back and I had to come up with a reason to get him to lay off.” It did still sound slightly ridiculous to him, and the level of commitment they’d gone to to keep up the lie, but Blaine realised that he didn’t really want to stop. And he didn’t know what that meant. 

Sebastian’s breath puffed on his face, close enough to feel the warmth radiating from the other man, only an inch or so away from one another. His eyes flickered down to soft, parted lips, and somewhat unconsciously he leant in slowly, feeling Sebastian mirror his actions, feeling drunk on the scent of his cologne and skin almost touching -

BANG

The biggest firework of the night exploded in bursts of red, raining down like the sky was bleeding and split open, jolting the two of them apart. He was still in Sebastian’s arms but not buried as he had been, now held at more of a distance, his heart hammering in his chest so hard it hurt. 

As the sparks flooded down and eventually faded into more of a drizzle, Blaine let himself breathe out, avoiding Sebastian’s eyes but slowly returning to his previous position of staring ahead, back against the taller man’s head. After a pause Sebastian did the same, hands on his waist and gaze fixed back onto the sky, although silence settled between them now. 

The show continued, people moving about from where they’d been sat after a while, mingling in the crowd and reconnecting with former classmates, but he and Sebastian remained against each other, hearts beating in unison in the cool breeze of the evening air. 

Blaine tightened his grip on the jacket around him, wrapping it closer to his body and resting his cheek on top of the collar, chewing down on his lip as the crowd moved around them. He and Sebastain had nearly kissed, and if the firework hadn’t had gone off, he thinks he wouldn’t have stopped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!!! im killer-leo on tumblr if u wanna say hello and i can take requests as well <3


	3. we had a cool, sexy vibe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man, i struggled with this one a lot, could never seem to really make it work? but it's been a few days (and a whole other fic lol) since the last update and i've had this written for a while so i thought may as well put it out there as realistically im not gonna change too much more.   
> packing to move back to uni so next few days are pretty hectic, so i'll upload this now to tide over until chap 4, which will be a few days or so.   
> hope u guys enjoy, thanks so much for the lovely feedback so far it means the absolute world to me!!!

“James you have to move on the offbeat ok? You’re gonna cut in front of the altos otherwise.”

“Well can you tell the altos to not take up so much space then?”

Blaine sighed and gestured around the room, pointing out where the different parts should be and what they should be doing, leant against the back desk. He didn’t really have issues with choreography but Sebastian usually covered it, laying it all out so concisely and cleanly that he honestly hadn’t had to think about it for a while, spending more time hunched over vocal arrangements and sheet music. 

“Skylar watch out for Ben when he does that spin we don’t want you up there with a black eye.”

Sebastian was on his way, having had to go into his  _ real _ job - and yes he frequently stressed that he had a ‘real’ job like the asshole he was - for a few hours earlier so missed the first half of rehearsal. Not that Blaine could really be annoyed at him for it when the law firm was the only place that actually paid him, but still. Things just tended to be easier when the two of them were at Dalton together.

The Warblers were running songs through by themselves mainly, liking to take control of their own rehearsals more often than not similar to the way it was when he was at school, but with  _ slightly _ less gavel banging. Slightly. Blaine was just tossing out the occasional direction - “Getting a little flat there guys!” - and giving structure to the session, thumbing through some sheet music. 

Things since homecoming had been normal on the outside, but he found himself constantly distracted mentally, thinking about the way he’d been so wrapped up in the intimacy and warmth of the evening that he’d almost kissed Sebastian, lying there in his arms. Blaine tried to toss it up to the fact that he was just playing along with their act, the fireworks and comforting atmosphere just appealing to the inherent romanticism and need for affection that ran through him. 

And Sebastian was handsome, that helped. Sure, he’d always known it, it was kind of hard to ignore, but recently Blaine had found his eyes wandering a little more than they probably should, lingering up and down in ways not dissimilar to how the other man’s did. But no, he couldn’t allow himself to be swept up in a wave of fake feelings bled from his stupid desire to be wanted, clinging onto the person in his closest vicinity. 

Just the fact they were in a pretend romantic situation meant his brain must get dragged into it, wanting to be wanted, feel desired. It didn’t have to mean anything. 

The double doors into the senior commons pushed open, attracting his attention to the side, Sebastian walking through with his suit on and tie slightly loosened, two cups of coffee in hand. He smiled and waved him over, trying not to dwell on the fact that Sebastian looked stupidly attractive in that tailored suit, accepting the cup that was handed to him. 

“Sorry about all that, something to do with some old files or whatever, it was a little pointless if I’m honest,” the taller man announced as he perched on the desk next to him, nodding his head in greeting to the Warblers who were grinning over. They probably missed Sebastian as much as he did. Nearly. 

“Don’t worry about it, I haven’t even really done much; they've been directing themselves mainly,” Blaine shrugged, taking a sip from his drink, eyes still trained on the kids in front of him. “Probably could use your help though I think we’re gonna end today with a lot of bruised toes.”

Sebastian snorted in agreement at that, snapping his fingers at a group of Warblers who were lounging about, jerking his thumb to make them stand up. “Well most of them have the hand eye coordination of a spoon so no surprise there.” Blaine swatted him on the arm and shushed him, although barely holding back a chuckle as he did. The Warblers were used to Sebastian’s comments by now anyway, knowing that  _ most _ of them were harmless - most. 

“Oh and guess what? I wanted to wait until in person to say anything.” 

Blaine looked up at Sebastian, hearing the excitement in his voice and frowning, wondering what could’ve gotten him to actually hold off saying some news when he would usually text the most ludacris things without hesitation. 

“Santana messaged me earlier, she proposed to Britt, and she said yes.”

Proposed?

The word slapped him in the face, nearly making him drop the cup in his hands. 

The room in front of him suddenly transformed from Warbler rehearsal to a bitter reminder of his own engagement, Dalton serving as a permanent intimation of music, and dancers, and rival show choirs in a wave of the Beatles, an unsurpassable feeling of happiness now overwhelmed with nausea and regret-

“Blaine?” You ok?” Sebastian’s voice brought him back to the present, a hand on his shoulder grounding him. 

He blinked a few times and cleared his throat, forcing on the best smile he could. “Yeah, I, uh, wow! That’s incredible, good for them,” he managed to spit out. And yeah, he was honestly happy for the couple - Santana and Brittney were in a much more stable place than he and Kurt were and anyone could tell they were perfect for one another, but still, the familiar feelings were unavoidable. 

“Hm, if you’re sure.” Sebastian didn’t sound convinced but also clearly didn’t want to push it, not in the middle of rehearsal anyway. He gave Blaine’s shoulder a light squeeze then stood up straight, walking over to the Warblers and clapping his hands.

“From the top, and I’ll start making you all run laps if you don’t at least point your fucking toes,” he called out, smile betraying him. One of the guys stuck his tongue out and laughed, and Blaine saw Sebastian affectionately roll his eyes and shove on his arm a bit, chuckling alongside him. 

The way the taller man interacted with the Warblers took him a while to get used to, honestly finding the way they all actually  _ liked _ each other a hard concept to wrap his head around at first. Sebastian was hardworking and firm, but gave them respect and joked around frequently, making their rehearsals fun and strangely laidback whilst ridiculously effective. All the kids clearly looked up to him, seeing him as an older brother figure who may tease and chastise them nonstop, but ultimately would look out for them no matter what.

It was moments like that when Blaine remembered he’d never actually been in the Warblers with Sebastian, and didn’t know what he was like as a leader. Seeing him here though, it made the way he came in and essentially took over in his junior year so much more believable, charismatic and talented, and he wondered if he would’ve followed the way everyone else did. 

Blaine didn’t really have to wonder, he had a feeling he would’ve followed him anywhere. 

Rehearsal went by in a flash, Sebastian pretty much taking over for the last section as Blaine remained over on the side, thoughts of proposals and engagements still running through his mind non stop in a swirling sea of yellow suits and football letterman’s. 

The guys cleared out, a stream of navy out the door as they all moved to class, and Sebastian came back over to his side with his hands in his pockets. 

“So, what’s on your mind?”

His tone suggested that Sebastian wasn’t going to drop it so easily this time, looking at him as if he could read every thought, Blaine feeling slightly naked under his gaze. 

“...What makes you think anything’s on my mind?” He didn’t even convince himself, having to avert his eyes and turn around, shuffling some sheet music around under the pretence of being busy. 

Sebastian put a hand on his arm and spun him back, eyebrows raised. “Because I told you that two of your close friends just got engaged and you looked as if you were about to throw up.” He kept staring, even when Blaine looked at the floor and became very interested in his feet. 

“And unless you’re suddenly coming out as homophobic in a plot twist turn of events, I’m not too sure why you wouldn’t be happy for them,” Sebastian continued with his hand still on his arm. 

Blaine finally dragged his eyes up, trying to collect his thoughts to something which he could articulate without doing something embarrassing like bursting into tears. “I am happy for them...honestly I am. It just, it reminds me of my own engagement, and Kurt, and the proposal, and just everything I’m trying to forget,” he spilt, words tumbling out of his mouth before he could catch them. 

In front of him Sebastian closed his eyes slowly, a realisation dawning on his face. “And I’m guessing being at Dalton right now probably isn’t the most helpful thing either.” Blaine nodded, chewing on the inside of his cheek as his brain kept helpfully supplying flashing images of that day. He felt the hand on his arm tighten and then Sebastian led them over to the couch, pulling him down next to him. 

“I get that the proposal was here,” the taller man started carefully, knees pressed close, “but you have a lot of other memories in this place which are better, including ones you’ve yet to make, yeah?”

“I know, and it’s fine most the time, I just sometimes think back to 18 year old me and want to just scream at him, ask what the fuck he thinks he’s doing.” Blaine let his head fall back against the couch and ran a hand over his face, those repressed memories staying brimming on the surface.

Sebastian shifted a little so one leg was tucked underneath him, staring over. “He was in love, a hopeless romantic, and a little impulsive - and yeah I won’t lie to you B it was kinda a stupid thing to do, but it doesn’t define you or your future.” The words went in but didn’t stay, his brain just spiralling down as the last two years of his life just flooded back. 

“God I just can’t stop thinking about how I must’ve wasted years of my life, the teenage years I’ll never get back as I tried to grow up too soon, have everything too fast,” Blaine found himself saying, deflating even further. He had tried to suppress all these thoughts so often that coming back they were more forceful than ever. 

“You haven’t wasted anything B, you’re still so young now and have so much ahead of you, no point dwelling on what’s been and gone when you look ahead, yeah?”

Blaine turned his head to stare at Sebastian, eyes threatening to spill at any moment. “Easy for you to say, you didn’t get engaged at barely 18 years old.” It came out harshly, more harsh than he should be to the one person trying to help, but he couldn’t help it, not in his current state.

“Ok, yeah true,” the other man said with a nod. “But, I’ve also never had a relationship or dated anyone in my life, never experienced ‘teenage love’ or anything that people write songs and movies about - when  _ I _ was barely 18 I was fucking guys in my car. I mean I was doing that at 16 but still.” Sebastian shrugged, still speaking in that frustratingly calm voice at him, and Blaine felt his heart break a little at the admission.

“It’s different…”

“B, it’s all the same,” he replied, hand on his thigh. “It’s all experiencing regret and wishing you could maybe change things, but if you  _ had _ changed shit that happened then none of this would be going on now, right? Maybe I shouldn’t have been doing all that so young, but it happened and it is what it is, can’t alter it. You wouldn’t be here coaching the Warblers if all that shit hadn’t happened, and maybe I’m being selfish but I’m happy you’re here.”

Blaine felt his body sink into the couch a little, hand on his leg centering him slightly. “I just want it to stop hurting.”

“It will, give it time, you deserve more than you ever got in that relationship, you’re a good person Blaine, better than I am. You’ve done more for these kids than anyone could ever hope to do which counts for something, yeah?” 

He felt himself lean into the admission a bit, letting Sebastian’s words wash over and encourage him to proud of himself for what he had done with the Warblers despite the mountain of anxiety he felt right about now. 

“Just think forwards, this year you’ll coach an incredible, distinguished acapella group to a nationals championship, and next year you’ll be off studying your dream course at college. Sam will still be kicking around for you to do nerdy shit with and I’ll be there to mock the two of you for it,” Sebastian continued, rubbing calming circles onto his leg. 

Blaine looked up at him and managed to raise an eyebrow, some of the tension melting away. “Nationals championship? That’s pretty big talk Smythe.” He received a smug look and flick on the arm, Sebastian grinning down at him. 

“Well I am helping you out after all, we can’t really expect much less,” the taller man teased, dissipating his anxiety just like that. “Chin up Anderson, you’re going to have the world in the palm of your hand any day soon. And until then, you got me.”

Blaine smiled back up at him, cheeks warming for some reason he didn’t quite understand. Yeah, he had Sebastian. And that was enough. 

~

When the email from Sue came about invitationals, Blaine immediately thought it must be some kind of set up, as if they’d arrive and were pushed into a giant pit in the ground or something, seeing as there was no way the New Directions were actually good enough to compete yet. He was pretty sure they only had 4 members, two of which were like cheerleading Jamie and Cersei Lannister. 

However, he received a text from both Sam and Mr Schue pretty much confirming its validity, all parties relatively confused as to what was going on. But luckily for him, the Warblers were itching to perform, needing to get on a stage and display what they’d been working on for the last few months, get some validation for their efforts. 

Which is how they ended up McKinley, pulling up in a Dalton coach full of overexcited teenagers, desperate to get started. 

“Were we ever this keen?” Sebastian groaned as they stood by the coach doors, counting the boys as they got out. “I always thought we had a cool, sexy vibe to us, but if we were anything like these dorks I couldn’t have been more wrong.”

“Do you not remember how Nick and Jeff used to get before competitions? It was like someone pumped a toddler full of sugar,” Blaine laughed, locking the vehicle once everyone was out. “I’m sure you managed the ‘cool and sexy vibe’ all by yourself though don’t worry.”

He heard a “bet your fucking ass I did,” under Sebastian’s breath as they made their way towards McKinley, not too long after they’d last been to the school. Coming back was always strange, being hit with all those memories, but especially now as he was there as a competitor, the ‘enemy’. Show choir was all a bit dramatic really. 

They headed towards the auditorium, muscle memory for Blaine at this point as they weaved through corridors and past classrooms, stains on the floors and holes in the walls. He felt himself tense a little the closer they got, hearing the sounds of who were presumably Vocal Adrenaline drifting from the stage, just relieving his own time at McKinley and experiences at the auditorium, nostalgia mixed in with nausea overflowing. 

Things with Rachel and Kurt were still pretty sore after the whole Jane incident which didn’t help his mental state, now a fierce competitive desire in there to win as well as just overall emotional fragility from being in his old school with his ex fiance. McKinley could put anyone on edge.

A hand slipped into his, Sebastian silently lacing their fingers together looking straight ahead, as if he could feel the tension radiating off of him and wanted to help. There were a few coos from the Warblers at their intimacy, which were met with a very effective death glare from Sebastian. 

All the guys were just a bit excited, as they were good, and  _ knew _ that were good, and Dalton boys liked to show off. 

They entered the auditorium from near the stage which was currently empty, Sebastian shepherding them all around like a helper on a school trip, look of frustration and endearment on his face as the Warblers practically jumped over, wanting to start stretching and warming up as soon as possible, itching to go. Standing amongst them in a soft white t-shirt and faded jeans, slightly taller and definitely older, Sebastian looked like their elder brother, bit of scruff on his face and tousled hair. 

Blaine still found himself loving the casual and effortless way the other man dressed, still taking inspiration from him as he had toned down the rather ridiculous patterned jackets and bowties which had just been some form of peacocking affection for Kurt’s attention, dressed a lot more calmly today. 

“I’m going to go talk to Kurt and Rachel, ok? You stay up here and help the boys warm up, maybe give a pep talk but do not encourage them to start anything ok?” he asked, raising his eyebrows at Sebastian, playfully smiling and jabbing a finger into his chest. “I don’t want to come back to any talk of espionage.” Sebastian rolled his eyes dramatically but laughed, leaning down to quickly kiss his forehead before jokingly giving him a shove over in the direction of his old classmates. 

As Blaine jogged over he could still feel the imprint of Sebastian’s lips on his skin, a gesture he knew was all for show in front of the old New Directions, but still infilled him with a little confidence as he went over. He came up in front of Kurt and Rachel, firm expression on his face despite the fact he was selfishly a little happy with how nervous the two of them looked. 

“Ok so let’s go through the rules, we decided there’s no judges so this is really about bragging rights,” he announced as he stopped in front of them, straightening out his blazer which Sebastian had ironed for him that morning, grumbling about being a housewife but not getting any of the benefits the entire time. “But still, my guys are taking this very, very seriously.”

He paused to give them a quick smile, and also so they could listen to the aggressive warm ups behind them that were equal parts showboating and effective. “I just want to make sure that the order is picked fairly - and by fairly, I mean that we’re gonna go second.”

Rachel and Kurt’s eyes bugged a little, sharing looks between the two of them as if they didn’t poach one of his students, and insult him and his fake boyfriend. Ok, Blaine may be being a little petty, and maybe a little rude, but this was a competition, and they were rivals, ones who had chosen to make this personal so he would too.

Blaine sighed and put his hands in his jacket pocket’s listening to Sebastian high five one of the Warblers behind him. “Has it occurred to you that this could be a really bad idea for your team?”

Rachel crossed her arms over her chest and Kurt rolled his eyes, both assuming defensive positions. “We just want to give them a sense of what to expect at sectionals, and you know, we were also just hoping that maybe you and Mr Schue would take it easy on us.”

“Oh no way, no no no,” Blaine cut it, interrupting her before she could try and continue on that tangent. “This is a competition, no one’s going easy on anybody, and I’m sorry but my allegiance is with the Warblers now.”

Kurt narrowed his eyes and copied Rachel’s arm crossed pose, the two of them acting more and more alike everyday which was frankly a bit scary. “All your allegiances seemed to have changed recently,” he said, his line of sight drifting over to Sebastian. Blaine looked over his shoulder to see him running through some of their choreography with the Warblers, joking around with them. He didn’t think he’d ever get over seeing that, the way they managed to work so perfectly as a team despite all their high school struggles.

The affection must’ve been a little too obvious on his face as when he turned to look at his competitors again they had matching expressions of disgust. “Well, I was at Dalton first anyway, they’ve always been my home. And I’m not going to let any of my boys shrink themselves down just because you want to win. Excuse me, I have a team and a boyfriend to get back to.” He gave them one last look before turning around to head back to the stage, returning the fist bumps and smiles of his team, Sebastian walking over next to him. 

“Let me guess, they asked you to take it easy on them,” he offered, raising an eyebrow. Blaine sighed and nodded, glancing over his shoulder to look at the whispering heads of the New Directions captains. 

“Yep, don’t worry though, I told them to expect nothing less than our best, we got this.” The Warblers cheered at that, their excitement building. Sebastian moved to drape an arm around his shoulders, rubbing affectionately down his arm and turned to look at boys in front of them. 

“Alright, keep warming up, if any of you pull a muscle don’t expect any sympathy from me,” he called out, gesturing for them to get back to it with a gleam in his eye, lips turning up at the end which betrayed his affection. Blaine felt his confidence building, a desire to win this competition surging through him as he smiled up at him, surrounded by his team.

~

Of course, it was at McKinley so nothing could ever be that easy, Sue coming out and making a very weird speech not so subtly insulting all of them and being plain offensive, stating that the competition would last all day and she would be deciding a winner, for some reason. Blaine was just unsure about everything happening but decided not to push anything, just sitting back and letting Vocal Adrenaline go first. 

They showboated a lot, a display so over the top it was barely enjoyable, but still was definitely threatening. Sebastian looked less than impressed, slumped in his seat with a bored expression, exchanging glances of annoyance with Sam who appeared similarly. No matter how ridiculous the whole thing was, the talent was unmistakable, so he wasn’t going to get too cocky.

At least the McKinley lot looked a lot more nervous than he did, practically seeming like they were all about to go to run out and be sick. 

Sue gave them half an hour to get themselves ready for the Warbler performance, the lot of them crowding onto the stage behind the curtain for last minute run throughs and practice. 

“Guys don’t stress ok Vocal Adrenaline have been a shit show ever since that St James idiot left, you  _ really _ don’t have to worry about them now that Schuester is in charge,” Sebastian scoffed at them, not doing much to ease the mildly nervous looks on the Warbler’s faces.

“How do you know who Jesse is?” Blaine whispered into his ear as the sound of footsteps approaching got louder. 

Sebastian looked offended that he even asked, muttering back, “the show choir blogs, duh,” before his eyes were drawn upwards with the trailing off of his sentence, face hardening almost instantaneously. 

“Hummel, this is Warblers only, and if you remember you quit after they lost at regionals.”

Blaine dug an elbow into his side to get him to stop trying to cause drama. The last thing any of them needed right now was another pathetic argument going on especially between his fake boyfriend and ex boyfriend - not just because that would guarantee them a spot on Dr Phil but he was also sure neither one of them could throw a punch.

“I just want to speak to Blaine for a second, is that alright?” 

From the look on Sebastian’s face he most certainly didn’t think that was alright, but Blaine  _ really _ didn’t want to be proven right about that whole throwing a punch thing so just gave a nod and laid his hand on the ex Warbler’s arm, rubbing it gently. 

“That’s fine, as long as we’re back in time for the performance,” Blaine replied, turning to kiss Sebastian on the cheek with a feather light touch. He smiled up at him in what he hoped was reassurance, squeezing his hand lightly before dropping it and waving goodbye to his team, before following Kurt off the stage knowing eyes were going to be on them. 

He hadn’t been alone one on one with Kurt since the time in Scandals, so it was a little weird as they made their way into the corridor, but Blaine was determined to just be mature about all of it, and he had a feeling his ex had a similar sentiment to he did. 

Honestly, the two of them hadn’t had much time alone in a while, even since before the split. They had moved into different apartments, both of which were usually full of other people, and classes at NYADA really kept them busy. Plus, with all the wedding planning Blaine found himself doing, his and Kurt’s lives had seemed separate for a while. 

Back then they had pretended the distance was normal, thankful for space after the previous months of suffocation, but now the lack of other people and the reticence between them was painfully obnoxious. 

They settled out by some lockers, thankfully deserted at this time as the two of them avoided eye contact, silence hanging in the air until Kurt cleared his throat. “You know, we really didn’t mean to ‘poach’ Jane, I’m sorry the situation turned out like that.”

“Yeah, ok. As long as she’s happy,” Blaine sighed, knowing he probably couldn’t drag on being annoyed and petty forever - being mature was the goal here after all. “I get that it probably wasn’t intentional, just emotions are pretty high with the competition right now, and me and Sebastian fought pretty hard for her.”

Kurt gave a slow nod, biting his lip as if trying to force his mouth to stay closed. “You and him seem...close.” 

“Well, he’s my boyfriend,” Blaine fired back, crossing his arms a little  _ too _ defensively, aware that Sebastian was very much not his boyfriend. 

“No I know!” Kurt put his hands up and shook his head a little, coughing under his breath. “I’m, uh, happy that things are going well… are they going well?” 

Blaine narrowed his eyes, trying to think of a reason why Kurt would believe things  _ weren’t _ going well, before realising his paranoia was just setting in again, and his ex was probably just trying to be polite, not uncover his lie. 

“Things are great, yeah, coaching the Warblers together is surprisingly...perfect, and his job at the firm is going well too,” he replied, fiddling with the hem of his jacket. “Sebastian, makes me happy.” 

“I, uh, wow. I didn’t think Sebastian was particularly capable of that,” Kurt joked with no bite to his words but still a sense of surprise there. “In high school he never really came across as the caring type.”

And Blaine knew that his ex was just trying to look out for him, that deep down they wanted what was best for each other, despite their  _ recent _ history they shared so much time and memories it was impossible not too. He still felt an overwhelming sense of protectiveness for Sebastian though, a surge of wanting to defend him just rising up. 

“Maybe in high school he didn’t exactly have his priorities in order, sure, but also we didn’t know him all too well back then anyway. I mean since coming back to Ohio, everything he’s done has been to help me, encourage me, take care of me, and he makes me feel good about myself.” Blaine realised as he was speaking that he wasn’t having to make any of this up, add to their ‘lie’ as all these feelings were real. 

“We spend nearly all of our time together but I don’t feel suffocated or frustrated, but it doesn’t get boring or repetitive either...it’s kinda like we just, fit.” 

There was a pause between them, Kurt giving a small nod and genuine smile, although there was a sadness behind his eyes. They had both given each other so much over their teenaged lives that ‘moving on’ would never be as easy as a few months apart, wounds needing more time to heal, but they had a friendship treasured to them both that could never fully go away. 

“I’m happy for you Blaine, really. I won’t lie and say that I particularly  _ like _ Sebastian, but if he’s right for you then I’ll try not to stand in the way.” Kurt sighed and leaned against a locker, some of the tension drifting away. “It hurts so much to not be with you right now, and I came here with the sole intention of getting you back.”

Blaine stiffened slightly and went to speak, but Kurt raised a hand and cut him off. “But I remember back to how much it hurt when we were actually together, and how we just ended up punishing ourselves and each other to a breaking point. With Sebastian you seem, lighter, than you have in years, and maybe I can find that too.”

The honesty in his voice warmed Blaine immeasurably, finally being able to talk to one another without bite or animosity which had poisoned them the past year or so. “You will, you’ll find someone like Sebastian.”

“Hm maybe that’s a step too far,” Kurt joked, both of them chuckling at each other in a way that was unlike the forced awkward laughter which had been shared recently. He looked down at his watch and realised he should get back to the Warblers, approaching the time of their performance. 

As they headed back to the auditorium, Kurt’s words rattled around his head. His comments about Sebastian making him lighter, the way he even seemed to  _ approve _ of them? His own words flooded back as well, about how much they spent time together and how happy he had been, not suffocated or frustrated but validated and comfortable? Blaine felt dizzy as he made his way to the wings, tossing it up to the fairly raw conversation he’d just had, trying to get into a better mindspace. 

Sebastian was waiting for him, biting at his lip and arms crossed, looking surprisingly tense and nervous as Blaine approached. “They’re about to start, everything ok?” His voice was pinched, but there was a worry beneath it that was reassuring, as if he had been concerned. For some reason Blaine found himself unable to drag his gaze away from the green of Sebastian’s eyes, freckles dusted across his nose that were accented gently by the stage lights, looking ethereal when he shouldn’t. 

He cleared his throat and stepped closer, putting a hand on the taller man’s arm in a comforting gesture, stuttering slightly at the softness of the skin. “Yeah, actually, everything’s great.” 

Before they could continue, Sue’s voice echoed out from the front, announcing the start of the Warblers set to a scattering of half hearted applause, and then the sea of navy and red started moving. 

At first Blaine tossed it up to the fact that he’d seen their performance countless times that he found his eyes drifting towards Sebastian rather than the Warblers. They were doing perfectly, insync and vocally stunning, but watching the taller man take in their set was strangely mesmerising. 

He was intently focused, mouthing along to most of the words with a proud look on his face throughout. It reminded Blaine somewhat of how Sebastian used to watch him when he was in the New Directions, but he stared at these Warblers with a sense of pride and affection that was more brotherly, brow furrowing at times if he thought they would slip, bright smile when they pulled off a particularly tricky move. 

Sebastian was never one for ridiculously complimenting them, not how he did to Blaine so often, so it was in moments like these when they all couldn’t see that his endearment really came across, and it was beautiful. 

Blaine realised that Sebastian was beautiful. 

And not just in the obvious ways, as anyone with eyes could tell that this man was objectively stunning. But his pride and care over these teenagers that he wasn’t paid to help, his encouragement and support of not just them but Blaine as well, being more selfless than he ever thought was possible. Coming along to all his McKinley events, agreeing to be his fake boyfriend and going the extra mile to ensure Blaine’s own comfort and happiness, when he gained nothing from it. 

And what did Blaine gain from it? He gained everything, he realised. He gained Sebastian. 

The sudden sound of applause shook him out of his head, arms around him as the taller man grabbed him in a hug and shouted something in his ear, words of celebration and congratulations or whatever, the smell of his cologne flooding his senses like it always did, but this time settling into his bones and trapping itself in his memories. 

When he pulled back, green eyes glistening into his own, Blaine realised that just like at homecoming, he wanted nothing more but to kiss Sebastian. He didn’t just want to kiss him though, he wanted to hold hands, go furniture shopping, and play video games with him and Sam in his living room until 5am. It was an intense wave of yearning that was more than physical, he felt it deep within himself unlocking something he hadn’t allowed himself to feel in too long a time. 

He felt his head spin a bit and knees weaken, Sebastian’s hands still gripped around his arms. 

“Jesus B did you see that? They were amazing, well done!”

“Why are you telling  _ me _ well done, that’s all down to you,” he replied breathlessly, finally letting himself smile. Sebastian rolled his eyes affectionately and looked as if he was going to argue but the sudden arrival of all the Warblers coming off stage interrupted them, and they both found themselves dragged into hugs and cheering. 

It was a strange sense of familiarity, like he was back at the school himself, as if he was surrounded by Nick and Jeff jumping on him, Meatbox tugging Thad down into a headlock or Wes and David hugging tightly. But this time he wasn’t 16, this time he was here with Sebastian, grinning widely at the kids and returning high fives with mock annoyance, and Blaine felt an overwhelming sense of accomplishment that he hadn’t in a while. 

As their eyes met, both brimming with pride, Blaine realised that despite the encompassing grief he’d had the last few months, in this moment, he was the happiest he had been in years. 

~

From that moment on invitationals went somewhat downhill. Sue made weird comments to him about an elevator and the New Directions somehow managed to win despite just sitting on stools and singing mediocrely, not that he paid much attention. His mind had been overwhelmingly occupied with the realisation that he definitely had feelings for Sebastian, leading him to be very distracted throughout the rest of the day, sitting in his chair with glazed eyes and sweaty palms.

After the intensity of invitationals had worn off, Blaine found he actually had a few days free, trying to give himself some time to relax and recuperate before the real work for sectionals started to pick up again. 

The past few months he’d been living at home with his parents, but had spent so much time at either Sam’s, Sebastian’s, or Dalton, that he hadn’t really been around much. And when he first moved home, he’d essentially just locked himself in his room and hadn’t spoken so even then there hadn’t been much communication. 

Moving back home after a failed try at college and an engagement wasn’t just heartbreaking to him, it was embarrassing. The standards he had set himself his whole life had been so high, as well the standards set upon him by his parents even if unconsciously, and there he was, failing them all. Teaching at Dalton wasn’t anything to turn his nose up at, but Blaine couldn’t pretend that he didn’t feel like a huge disappointment to his family, leading to him not being able to face them for a while, locking himself away to deal with his failures alone. 

His relationship with his parents had taken some turns over the years - after coming out his dad hadn’t been unsupportive per say, but ‘happy’ would definitely be the wrong word to use. Academically there were a lot of pressures, not to mention the way he felt he wasn’t fulfilling the heterosexual ideal which was desired. 

But in recent talks with his parents some of that relationship was working on being rebuilt, his dad admitting that a lot of his attitudes stemmed from the aftermath of his freshman year attack, fear playing a big role in misguided ignorance after concern for his safety. He was still jealous of Kurt’s relationship with his dad, and knew that they probably wouldn’t ever get to that level, but it was something at least.

A good thing that came out of the end of his engagement was his connection to his mother, strengthening since his return home and through the turmoil of the break up. Currently the two of them were the most comfortable with each other they’d ever been really, and Blaine was feeling grateful. Nothing was perfect, but it really was getting there.

That morning, he’d given himself the longest lie in he had allowed himself to have in months, finally dragging himself out of bed past midday, planning on seeing if Sam was free after he finished work, needing to distract himself from the Sebastian shaped thoughts roaming his head. 

He really couldn’t deny that the feelings he had were way more than just base physical desire now, a yearning to be with the other man running deep within him throughout all his conscious - and unconscious - thought. And these feelings complicated things, they complicated the nature of what they were doing and why, Blaine beginning to feel guilt trickle into his mindset whenever he thought back to the two of them partaking in their falsified relationship. 

Things with Kurt were ok now, a far cry from where they’d been a few months ago, and even if they weren’t he was probably adult enough to not have to pretend to have a boyfriend to get out of awkward situations. Sebastian was slowly becoming someone so integrated in his life that Blaine was doing anything to keep him there, even selfishly clinging on to something that wasn’t real.

He wished it was real.

But dating and love were still scary, uncertain ground which brought up bad memories and deep insecurities. Rejection was not something Blaine could face right now, or something tumultuous and ill-timed. It was too soon to think of that anyway, his realisation still raw and fresh and he couldn’t let himself to commit to anything which would cause regret or degradation. 

The smell of coffee and sound of music drifting up from the kitchen alerted Blaine to what he presumed was his mother’s presence in the kitchen, remembering she also had a day off work. It was the afternoon, he really should get up. The nagging voice in his head - which sounded suspiciously like Tina - reminded him that Sebastian would’ve been at work for four hours already, so great, now his inner monologue wasn’t just obsessing over the other man it was doing it to make him feel bad. Thanks Tina. 

He made his way down the stairs, hair fully curly and pyjamas on, as the aim of this ‘relax and recuperate’ time was dedicated to getting dressed as little as possible. Well, that’s what he told himself anyway. 

His mom was standing by the counter, apron on and humming along to the radio, looking a lot different from her usual attire as an accountant. “Hey mom,” he announced sleepily through a yawn. 

She turned and looked at him with a raised eyebrow, mixing spoon in hand. “Good afternoon, nice of you to join the land of the living.” Blaine felt his cheeks colour a bit but felt no shame at his late wake up time, feeling well rested for the first time in a while. “Glad you got some sleep though sweetie, you’ve been working awfully hard recently.”

He jumped up on the counter, legs swinging beneath him and laughing when he was swatted on the thigh with the spoon. “You know I love being at Dalton, but yeah it’s been a little intense recently. Just want to make the most of it really, before I have to leave.”

“And you  _ are _ leaving? The plan is still to go to college again next year?” his mom asked with a gentle face, extending the bowl of cake mix she’d been stirring to him. Blaine nodded as he swiped a finger into it, making a noise of agreement with his mouth full. 

“As long as you’re think you’re ready sweetheart, I don’t want you rushing into-”

“Mom, I’m not,” Blaine interrupted, muffled with cake mix. “NYADA wasn’t right for me, being in the loft and engaged and all of that wasn’t right for me. I’ll be doing a course I want to do and living in dorms, doing college the way that I want to, and I’m ready.”

That seemed to appease her a little, as she smiled and took the bowl back, dusting off some flour from her apron. “And Sebastian, he’s going to be in New York isn’t he?” 

Blaine froze at that, remembering he hadn’t actually told his mom about them being in a fake relationship, and she only knew the two of them were friends. “Uh, yeah, he’s going to Columbia. I didn’t just apply to New York schools though-”

“I know I know,” she replied with a wave of the hand, “but we also both know your heart is set on NYU, so you two could be in the same city.” His mom gave him one of those knowing looks which was both incredibly frustrating and embarrassing, as if she knew every thought that was running through his mind. And his thoughts had been purely Sebastian based for the past few days. Weeks, months, whatever.

“Yeah I guess, we’re just friends though…” Blaine really hoped he sounded more believable to her than he did himself, although his bouncing leg and high pitched voice really didn’t help things. “Anyway, college this time around is for me, not anyone else.”

His mom walked over, setting her hands down on his knees and giving him a warm smile. “I know honey, and you  _ should  _ only be doing it for you. Just maybe that could be a little added bonus, I think he’s good for you.” She patted him gently on the cheek, squishing at his nose before stepping back. “Plus he’s pretty easy on the eyes.”

“Ugh mom, please,” Blaine groaned back, but made no effort to disagree. She was right after all. 

Sebastian had been over several times since they’d both been back, coming over originally as part of Sam’s ‘drag Blaine out of bed and stop moping’ plan, and then just turning up more regularly once their friendship settled in. Because the taller man had his own place, they usually ended up hanging out there, but Sebastian claimed that going in Blaine’s bedroom fulfilled his teenage fantasies and that he liked his parents, so sometimes they settled at the Anderson’s. 

His mom really did take well to Sebastian, the two of them usually getting distracted and drinking tea in the kitchen whilst Blaine would get ready, gossiping away about anything and everything - he was so naturally charismatic and charming that the fact he was great with parents wasn’t much of a surprise. 

Blaine managed to get in the shower, spending some time ambling around and organising some files whilst he waited for the end of the school day so Sam would be free, texting Sebastian on and off as he was at work until the late afternoon. Both he and Sam were so busy currently that they couldn’t hang out as much as they liked, and it was times like that when Blaine felt jealous of Rachel and Kurt, who got to be at McKinley and see the blond everyday. 

After a few hours of lazing around, he drove over to the Lima Bean where they had agreed to meet, both probably wanting a sense of nostalgia as well as a change of scene from Sam’s living room which they tended to be in the majority of the time, surrounded by take out boxes, beer, and video game controllers. 

The old coffee place did bring some old memories, but a lot of new ones too, being one of the places he and Sebastian frequented most at the beginning of their reconnection. 

There he went, thinking about Sebastian again. 

The more Blaine thought about it, he realised that the other man consumed a lot of his headspace recently, finding connections to him in absolutely everything. As he made his way over to a couch in the corner of the cafe, he knew that Sam would see right through any attempt he would make to cover up his new found feelings, the two of them unable to lie to each other at this point. His best bet was to just, not bring up Sebastian.

He gave himself 5 minutes. 

~

“So Brittney’s hired Artie as their wedding planner which I think is kinda weird seeing as the man knows nothing about weddings, but Lord Tubbington was her first choice so I guess it’s an improvement although I’m not even 100% sure on that.”

Blaine nodded along, smiling over the rim of his coffee. Sam had basically jogged in, as high energy as ever and pulled him into a hug before sitting down and filling Blaine in with practically every single thing that had happened at McKinley and with the alumni over the last few days. He knew most of what went on with all of them, but by being at Dalton he found himself ever so slightly out of the loop at times, just by not being in as close proximity. 

“Anyway, Rachel just found out her dads are selling her house so she’s obviously a little broken up, I was thinking of throwing a party in her basement, like we did in sophomore year?” Sam continued, leaning forwards in his seat and finally drawing breath. 

“God please not like that party, I don’t want to make out with Rachel again,” Blaine moaned as the blonde just cackled at him. “But yeah I guess that could be fun, especially with a lot of us back.”

“I was gonna make it a New Directions thing you know? Invite the kids, make people sing some songs and that.” Blaine blinked a few times and tilted his head, now suddenly confused as to what his best friend was saying. 

“You want to invite kids? Your students? Dude isn’t that like, a little weird.”

Sam kicked his leg under the table and rolled his eyes, downing the last of his coffee quickly. “It’s not like we’d be doing body shots or anything my guy, I was thinking of it just being like a chance to sing and have fun - you realise we went to Mr Schue’s wedding, right?” And ok fair, Blaine really couldn’t comment on teacher - student closeness after their own glee club teacher hung out with them more than people his own age. 

“Alright alright that sounds ok, count me in,” he replied putting his hands up in mock defeat. He supposed it wouldn’t be the worst thing to see his old friends, even if he’d never really spoken to any of the new glee members so that could be a little weird. For a brief second he debated just turning up with the Warblers in tow but they really didn’t need any intershow choir relationships happening and one of the New Directions was gay so he turned back on that idea fast. 

“And of course you can bring Sebastian too, I miss him bro it’s been ages since I’ve properly hung out with him! You gotta tell me to come over to mine more I need to beat his ass at COD again.” 

Blaine tried to fight off any colour on his cheeks and sat on his hands to stop himself from fidgeting with his fingers too much, knowing that Sam knew that was a giveaway he had something to hide. “Oh, uh, you sure? He isn’t alumni or anything so…”

“Dude don’t be dumb it’s fine, plus you two are still dating so like it’ll probably be expected.” Sam waved him off and shook his head, stretching out his legs beneath the table.

“Ok well we’re not  _ actually _ dating but whatever,” Blaine mumbled beneath his breath and avoiding any eye contact, aware he was probably acting fairly suspiciously. 

He heard a loud scoff from across him and looked up to see Sam leaning on his elbows on the table, looking sympathetic but also disbelieving. “Look man, I have eyes, and I see the way you two look at each other. I mean I can’t remember the last time you looked like that, and this is the happiest I’ve seen you in probably years. You bring up Sebastian at like, every instance possible and that man stares at you like the sun shines out your ass.”

His best friend spoke so confidently and calmly, not in his usual tone at all, making Blaine think that Sam had been holding that back for a while. He sighed out and ran a hand through his hair, struggling to think of what to say. “Maybe I’ve realised that my feelings for him are...not just platonic, and maybe they haven’t been for a long time. But a relationship is a whole other thing Sam, especially when I’ve just come out of an engagement? And Sebastian has never even had a boyfriend before, so who knows what would happen.”

Sam shrugged nonchalantly and bumped their ankles together under the table with a gentle smile. “Alright so you don’t know what would happen, but who cares? He obviously makes you happy man, and isn’t that what matters? You should do something that  _ you _ wanna do once in a while.”

Blaine sat back, letting Sam’s wash over him. Being single was somewhat important to him right now, but actually what he realised was important was being single from  _ Kurt _ . He was happy they were on the right way to being friends again, but his whole teenage life had revolved around their relationship and it was the distance from that which he needed, not any dating life at all. 

And being with Sebastian wasn’t hard or stressful; in fact he felt more free and relaxed than he ever had. Even if they weren’t strictly  _ dating _ right now, they spend enough time together that realistically not much would change, apart from the fact things would get a bit more physical which he would  _ not _ mind at all.

“Look man just think about it ok?” Sam’s voice interrupted his spiralling, centering him back down a bit in the way his best friend just could. “But moving on, I wanna run through my ideas for this party with you as I don’t know what the kids are into these days.”

Sam launched into a speech about prop sunglasses and inflatable instruments that sounded like a shopping list for a middle aged bachelorette party leaving Blaine to just sit back and listen, both smiling in fond amusement and letting his mind drift occasionally to Sebastian.

The idea of the other man was intoxicating, partly as the ‘forbidden fruit’ of his past that he had repressed feelings for for so long, but also this new, compassionate person who genuinely made Blaine feel more alive than he ever had. 

But, who was to say that Sebastian even felt the same? Back in high school he had seemed interested sure, but even that was more of a physical thing, based around lust and touch and sex. Even if those feelings had run deeper, Blaine wasn’t conceited (or hopeful) enough to think that all these years later he would feel the same. Sebastian was, enigmatic, complicated, bold, and engrossing, someone who probably didn’t want to be with the mess that Blaine was right now. 

And even if he did, he had never dated or even seen anyone seriously before, not used to either monogamy or ‘romance’. Blaine wasn’t ready to have his heart broken again so soon, and he knew that Sebastian could shatter him easily. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading!!! im killer-leo over on tumblr if you do wanna say hi or anything, and i do take requests but i cant promise quality lol


	4. "just, committed to what i started"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey... how y’all doing. i know it’s been a little longer than usual im sorry!!
> 
> imma keep it real with you im not super happy with how this turned out at all but ive been dealing with it for nearly two weeks now and havent been able to write the last bit, ive JUST finished it off and im not a huge fan but if i dont upload it now there’s gonna be an even longer wait, cos im back at uni and Drowning in shit to do. 
> 
> this was originally supposed to include two extra scenes at the end but it’s taken me this long to do this so thought it would be best to break it up, and next chapter will probably be a long one. also the next chapter will be better lol ive planned it out and should be good, way better than this
> 
> anyways...enjoy and thank u all so so much for the lovely support and comments its the reason i have the motivation to write anything!!

Pulling up to the Berry residence, Blaine was immediately hit with the flashbacks from her last party years ago - well, what he could remember from it, the night got pretty hazy after a while. He definitely wasn’t going to make out with Rachel this time that was for sure. 

Sebastian had reluctantly agreed to come along, now sat beside him in the passenger seat and drumming his fingers on the window, not looking too miserable at coming but still not exactly thrilled about it. Things between them had been normal, Blaine thought, although every second they were together he brain sort of melted and went into overdrive, just thinking about his lips, his smile, the freckles on his nose, his biceps - 

It was becoming a problem. 

His crush was...developing, and now the idea of an actual _relationship_ with Sebastian is all that he could think about, not just the urge to kiss him but the urge to wake up and cook breakfast together, come home to the same apartment or talk on the phone until 3 am about their favourite cereal brands and least favourite Star Wars characters. Blaine was falling, hard, and it terrified him. 

But for now, he had to forget about that and focus on the _other_ terrifying thing which was a party with high school children and his show choir competition, complete with his ex boyfriend. He and Kurt were still on amicable terms, bordering on friendly, but the slight tension was going to be inevitable for a while, even if they were singing a dumb duet together.

Sam had texted over details of a duet wheel (?) and how everyone at the party had to sing with another randomly selected person, and for some reason Blaine and Sebastian were involved in this despite being the coaches of a completely different choir. By now he had just learnt to go along with it. 

Blaine had of course gotten Kurt, which was at least better than some random high schooler; they had a good back catalogue to go off with no rehearsal which was ideal. Sebastian had ended up with Jane, and secretly very happy with that even if he vehemently tried to deny it. Being too busy to meet up - and also Sebastian finding it way too weird to meet up with a 16 year old girl he didn’t know - they had just texted over sorting it out, and Blaine was confident enough in their performance abilities to pull it off. 

For now, they just had to get out of the car. 

“God tell me why we’re doing this Anderson? I could get over them being the competition, but the people there I either don’t like or are literal children, like what is the point?”

“You like Sam,” Blaine fired back immediately, raising an eyebrow. Sebastian was so hot when he complained. “And you don’t _dislike_ Mercedes and Artie either, so stop whining.”

The taller man huffed slightly but without any bite behind it, mainly just committing to the bit he’d started at that point. He gave one last over dramatic sigh and then moved to get out the car, dragging his long legs out the door as if he was walking to his execution. 

“Jesus you are such a drama queen,” Blaine laughed, following his suit by climbing out. That was met with a very vicious middle finger from Sebastian who came around to his side of the car, knocking their shoulders together when they met. 

‘You’re just lucky you’re so cute Anderson I wouldn’t do this for anyone else. A few months ago Duval asked if I would forward him some old Warbler files and I left him on read until yesterday.” 

They both knew he and Nick spoke every other day, but the sentiment was nice at least. 

The party had started half an hour ago, Sebastian insisting on being ‘tastefully late’ whatever that meant, so when they made their way down into the basement chatter and music was already pretty loud. Blaine grabbed Sebastian’s hand entwining their fingers, knowing the other man would only think it was to help keep up their pretence, but knowing that for him it was simply a chance to hold on, to feel like it was something they weren’t. 

Sam caught his eye as soon as their heads came into view down the stairs, face splitting into a wide smile and waving them both over to where he was by the bar. Thankfully all the kids seemed to be on the other side so it felt a little less weird. 

“Guys! Glad you both could make it man,” Sam announced to them, pulling them both into a hug at once leaving Blaine somewhat squished in the middle. The blond moved back slightly and clapped him on the shoulder, standing next to what Blaine hoped was a non alcoholic punch given the whole ‘minors’ situation. “Mercedes and Roderick have already performed but still got lots to come!”

Sebastian made a noise that was somewhere between a grunt and a sigh, looking at Sam with a mock disdain. “Please don’t remind me Evans. You owe me many, many drinks for this, preferably not in someone’s basement which sounds like the start to a shitty horror film.” His eyes drifted over to where Jane was being talked to by the male cheerleader who was clearly attempting to flirt, and the taller man just gave a small eye roll and sigh, removing his hand from Blaine’s which hurt more than it should’ve.

“Should probably go and actually speak to girl non-Warbler seeing as we’re singing together soon, I’ll leave you two to tire each other out.” Sebastian leant down and pressed a light kiss onto Blaine’s cheekbone, hand resting on his lower back in a touch so gentle he barely comprehended it, yet it spread warmth through his whole body, centering him. 

Whatever look he had on his face was clearly clocked by Sam who just raised an eyebrow silently, staring directly at Blaine whilst Sebastian walked over to Jane, scaring off Mason with just one look. 

“Dude, he touched you and it looked like he gave you a puppy. Control your damn face.”

“We’re supposed to be in a relationship Sam, maybe I’m just a really good actor?” Blaine replied snarkily, lying through his teeth. “I’m just, committing to what I started ok? And so is he, so, uh, shut up.”

Sam’s face remained fairly unmoving, just staring at him as if he was slightly crazy. “Ok well the heart eyes are definitely convincing, but who are you trying to convince dude? Everyone else, or him?”

Before Blaine could really compute whatever the hell that meant and try to come up with a somewhat decent rebuttal, Kurt and Rachel came over to interrupt his thoughts. 

“Hey Blaine, uh, are you happy with the song I picked?”

Kurt gave him a polite smile, standing a reasonable distance away but at least looking a bit more relaxed than he had at the invitationals which was reassuring. He returned a similar expression, hoping that his current internal panic wasn’t as obvious externally. 

“Oh yeah, sounds good! I’m sure it’ll work itself out up there, can just do some old classic moves,” he laughed, taking a sip from the plastic cup he’d been handed and now wishing it _did_ have alcohol in it. “How’s glee club going?”

Both Kurt and Rachel shared a similar face, the latter bursting into a story about eggs and Vocal Adrenaline and show choir harassment, looking fairly traumatised with Kurt patting her arm in a show of comfort, although he had clearly heard the story enough times by now to be over it. 

“Now let’s welcome to the stage the two people everybody’s happy to be seeing _not_ in a Dalton uniform, Sebastian and Jane!” Artie’s voice rang out across the room to a sudden round of applause and cheering, Sam not even bothering to hold back a loud laugh at his comment, being flipped off by Sebastian in the process. 

Blaine always loved being able to see the taller man perform, even if in a casual, silly setting like this - he knew that going into the performance industry isn't what Sebastian wanted but he was still so talented, Blaine selfishly wished he’d keep on singing and dancing, just a little.

And wow ok, Mariah Carey really wasn’t what he expected, but both Jane and Sebastian pulled it off flawlessly; he had no doubts that it was the Warbler coach who chose the song as it highlighted Jane’s vocals perfectly, giving her the runs and notes which she had been denied at the invitationals. 

He was still a little bitter about her not getting a solo after all the stress they’d gone through to get her. 

And admittedly Blaine had a bad habit of imagining things - seeing stuff which wasn’t there, just like with Jeremiah all those years ago, but he couldn’t help but feel that Sebastian was singing it _to_ him.

Because, come on, lyrics like “time can’t erase a feeling this strong” and “you’ll always be my baby” sung whilst directly looking at him? Blaine felt like they were the only two people in the room, a sort of floating feeling filling his body as they sang and casually danced, Sebastian’s voice flooding through his veins like a drug he was hooked on from before he’d even tasted it. 

Sam’s kick to shin meant he must be making the ‘heart eyes’ again, but Blaine didn’t even care, they were _supposed_ to be dating, so he could look at his fake boyfriend however he fucking wanted to. The fact that maybe Sebastian was just looking and singing at him in order to sell their relationship did occur to Blaine, but his rose tinted glasses were just painted red by that point so there really wasn’t much turning back. 

Parts of the performance echoed back to all those years ago when Blaine stood in the Dalton senior commons, watching the performance of I Want You Back which yeah ok, may not have been the _classiest_ thing in the world but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t impressed/flattered/turned on, whatever. This was a slightly more mature performance though, not a power play or excuse to show off - in fact Jane was the one doing the fancy vocal work Sebastian was singing the underneath melody - but a heartfelt, fun show which really did show off his love of the arts. 

And yeah, he was staring at Blaine in that same way, adding in a few winks and smiles that did not go unnoticed, and were not unwelcome. 

When the two of them drew to a close - Jane even pulling Sebastian for a hug at the end which he seemed surprised but not hateful about - Blaine was on his feet, cheering and clapping obnoxiously loudly, Sam alongside him. Yeah, part of his appraise was because Sebastian had looked _very_ sexy up there, dressed effortlessly handsome in jeans and a t-shirt, and part of it was because his knees were still a little weak from the flirtatious looks he’d gotten, but it was mainly because Sebastian had seemed so _happy_. 

Looking at Blaine, having fun with Jane, dancing around the stage and singing charmingly, the taller man had just seemed so light and happy that it made Blaine’s heart full, and made him always want to make him feel that way, but especially with him. 

Jane was pulled away by her classmates and that male cheerleader that Blaine probably should know the name of, tugging her over to chat whilst Sebastian made his way over towards where the adults were crowded. He really couldn’t help himself but to loop his arms around the taller man’s neck and tightly hugging him, pressing a kiss on his jaw, letting his lips linger slightly. 

“You still annoyed I didn’t tell you what we were singing then?” Sebastian teased, giving him a light wink as Blaine pulled back and rolled his eyes, hands sliding down his arms and trying very hard not to squeeze. 

“I was never _annoyed,_ I was just nosy,” he huffed back, turning to look at the rest of the group but remaining close by the taller man’s side. 

Sebastian gave a shrug and slid an arm around his shoulders whilst accepting a drink from Sam with a grateful nod. “Just wanted something that Jane could show off in, and I happen to like Mariah, so.” He seemed to acknowledge Kurt for the first time, giving a slight jerk of the head which could probably be classified as a nod, Blaine feeling his hand tense a little on his shoulder. 

“Hummel,” he said, voice restrained. “Berry, sorry about your house.” Sebastian didn’t sound particularly sorry, but the sentiment was there at least. 

Rachel gave a tight smile back, looking relatively surprised at the comment but not confrontational at least. “Thank you, Sebastian - you and Jane sounded great up there.”

“I would say give her more solos, but as your competition that would be bad for me,” he replied lightly, flashing a grin as he spoke which got a laugh out of Sam at least. Blaine let himself lean into Sebastian’s side as the others continued talking, feeling the way the other man’s fingers traced along his shoulder, drawing lines up and down his side. 

A moment of courage took over him as he let his arm wrap around Sebastian’s waist, running lower than it usually did with lingering touches by his hip, rubbing small circles and patterns. Even through the layer of clothing he could feel how hot the other man’s skin was, and could envisage what lay underneath having seen him shirtless enough times at that point. 

The image of his hip bones and torso, naked, Blaine’s fingers running along the dips and crevices of the muscles, creeped into his mind, hands quickly replaced by his mouth, imagining grazing his teeth along skin and pressing, hot, open mouthed kisses along his body. Blaine had to swallow a few times, fighting off a warm flush and adjusting his standing slightly as he tried to reinsert himself back into the conversation, but remained entirely too distracted by Sebastian next to him and the slight of his hands, large and veined, and the thought of what they could do.

At that moment Artie wheeled over to them, pointing with his thumb over to the stage. 

“Alright Blaine and Kurt you’re up, need to keep those kids entertained before one of them asks me to buy them booze again.” He narrowed his eyes over at a jock looking type leaning against the wall, muttering a “I’m not even 21 yet” under his breath. 

Sebastian’s shift in demeanor was subtle, but obvious enough to Blaine who practically spent every second with him at that point, but he didn’t really have time to unpack it before he was being practically forced over to the stage with Kurt, hoping he could at least remember the words to the song. 

Artie announced them as everybody’s favourite gays which was slightly offensive but better than most things which came out of that man’s mouth so he let it slide, although he did see Sebastian scoff slightly at the comment and Sam whisper into his ear afterwards. The two of them were pretty close, despite what his fellow Warbler coach would like to admit, but it made Blaine ridiculously happy that his two favourite people got along so well. 

He and Kurt had picked a pretty light, uptempo song - nothing that could get awkward or weird, and it was honestly quite nice to sing with someone he hadn’t in a while, give a comforting sense of nostalgia. Blaine had been nagging Sebastian to go to a karaoke bar with him for months now, and he did wish that it could be the two of them singing up on the stage right now, but he and Kurt did have a relaxed rhythm to fall back onto at least. 

There was a weird assortment of props on the stage that he wound up getting a little distracted by, leading the song to end sooner than he realised to a round of applause. Kurt touched his arm lightly and smiled, and Blaine was honestly happy that they had got the chance to sing again, finding himself returning the expression. He headed over to where Sebastian was, now alone as Sam had wandered over to Mercedes with that puppy dog look in his eye which he really did hope would turn out well. Blaine liked those two together. 

Sebastian was cradling the plastic cup between his hands, foot tapping on the floor in a way that was unlike him, aided by the fact that he was avoiding eye contact pretty heavily. A small wave of anxiety immediately bubbled up inside Blaine, a feeling that something was wrong but Sebastian and ‘talking about his feelings’ really wasn’t something that happened often. 

“You ok Seb? I wasn’t that off key was I?” he joked, reaching out to try and put a hand on his knee. Sebastian jerked his head up and gave a tight smile, not the effortless, charming one that was usually affixed to his face. 

“You were perfect as always killer.” His voice was strained, but before Blaine could push further the taller man stood up, placing his cup down on the side with considerable force and still avoiding eye contact. “I think I’m gonna head, I’ll call a cab or something so don’t worry about the car situation.”

Blaine was left standing there, mouth slightly open and nose scrunched as he could just watch Sebastian leave, that rush of happiness he had had earlier now dissolved out his body leaving him deflated and worn, mind grasping at straws as his heart gasped for breath. 

He turned to look at Sam, who had clearly been successful with talking to Mercedes given how close they were standing, and when their eyes met all Blaine could think to do was to wave suddenly and gesture towards the door with his thumb, signifying his own departure. 

Sam mouthed an ‘you ok?’, to which he replied with ‘yeah don’t worry about it’, the two of them sending an assortment of facial expressions which somehow effectively communicated the situation, leaving Blaine to then turn and go up the stairs out of the basement, taking them two at a time and rushing out of Rachel’s house. 

Luckily Sebastian was standing at the ending of the road, staring down at his phone with a furrowed brow as if trying to set it alight with his eyes, probably in the hopes it would make his cab arrive sooner. Blaine still wasn’t really sure what had happened, but he could tell something _had_ happened. He and Sebastian had been growing a lot closer though and he really didn’t want to do anything to fuck that up, even if he now probably had. 

“Seb? Is, uh ,everything alright?” Blaine called out tentatively as he approached, arms touched around himself in the cool evening air, as well as helping to deal with some of his rising anxiety. The taller man turned to look at him, expression slightly anguished and upset with his body tense, unlike his usual relaxed persona. 

“Yeah B I’m fine.” Sebastian was clearly not fine. “Head back inside, don’t miss any of the party for me, I’m just a bit under the weather.”

Blaine stepped forward and reached out a hand slightly, wanting to be able to touch, comfort Sebastian, even if he was frustrated at not having a clue what was wrong only knowing he wanted things to be ok. “Well you can-”

“You know what? No, I’m not ok,” Sebastian interrupted, voice suddenly regaining some of its usual demeanor, arms jumping up and moving out of Blaine’s reach. “Not after _months_ of trying to get you to see yourself without Hummel, trying to drag you out of that depressive pit that relationship put you into, trying to make you see some ounce of self worth.” 

  
Sebastian was nearly shouting now, words shaking with a pent up emotion Blaine couldn’t even begin to describe only knowing it left him confused. “You seemed so _broken_ , B, and you swore you were never going back, and I promised to help you. I’m not saying that I’m good enough, cos fuck knows I’m not and never will be, but you know what? Neither is he, and you deserve more.”

Silence fell between them as Blaine’s mind raced to try and understand what was going on, edging forward slightly until they were only inches apart. 

“I don’t want to be with Kurt, I haven’t for months? We’re just, trying to be amicable,” he explained gently. The last thing Blaine wanted to do was scare the other man off, when talking about emotions was something that usually made him run for the hills. 

“Try telling that to him, it’s fucking painful watching the two of you up there, felt like we were back in junior year all over again, as if all you’ve worked to overcome has just gone,” Sebastian continued harshly, moving away to pace up and down the pavement almost vibrating with anger at that point - the outburst of emotions so different from the usual calm and deliberateness of his temperate.

“I...I helped you propose to him Blaine, I can’t make the mistake of letting you fuck up your life like that again, you deserve so, so, much more. You don’t even realise that you’re the most incredible man, I mean fucking hell you made me tolerable for crying out loud, and it’s going to break my heart to see you become that shell of a person again.”

The raw, unfiltered pain in Sebastian’s voice cut through Blaine completely, melting his feet to the spot and catching any words in his throat, razors when he tried to breathe. The man in front of him was beautiful and heartbreaking, projecting some inner insecurities out in this mess which almost sounded like a confession if Blaine dared think that, eyes brimming with liquid that threatened to spill. 

Sebastian blinked away tears and coughed, face suddenly illuminated by the emergence of headlights from the uber pulling up next to him. 

“Wait, I…” Blaine started, croaking out a few words somehow as the other man turned to move away silently. He couldn’t find anything to say, head overflowing with thoughts and barren at the same time, an accumulation of mess and confusion which hurt, all he could pinpoint was a sudden surge of just _feeling_ , a desire and need rising inside of him -

Without thinking twice Blaine stepped forward and crashed their lips together, hand on Sebastian’s shirt and chests colliding, connecting them with enough force they both staggered back a few steps. It was rough and awkward and possibly the least romantic thing he’d ever done, but he let himself melt slightly into Sebastian’s lips, fingers finding themselves trailing down his firm chest slightly. 

After a few seconds he pulled back, face a little numb and body still kind of in shock, realising _holy fuck_ he had just kissed Sebastian, completely out of the blue. Sure, he’d been thinking about it for weeks (years), but aggressively smashing their mouths together outside of Rachel’s house really wasn’t the first kiss he’d imagined them having. And he’d imagined it a lot. 

Sebastian stared at him, blinking slowly and unmoving. The silence was digging Blaine’s grave, a sudden wave of regret and fear sweeping over him which was only interrupted by an obnoxious honk of the horn from the uber.

“You should get that...I should go…” Blaine stuttered, taking a few steps back. “I’ll see you at the wedding.” And with that, because he was a mature adult, he turned on his heel and practically ran back inside. 

~

Sam had proceeded to yell at him for about five minutes once Blaine had come back. He then stopped for a quick high five and then returned to yelling. Luckily for Blaine his best friend had then become very distracted by Mercedes and forgot his berating, allowing him to quietly slip away and back home.

Truthfully, Blaine didn’t regret kissing Sebastian. 

They were supposed to be boyfriends anyway - but fuck, who was he kidding? Their entire fake relationship was pretty much pointless, and he’d been exploiting it to be able to see what it could be like if it were real. 

Every touch, every look, every moment they shared was Blaine selfishly giving himself what he wanted. 

It didn’t help that Sebastian had just _stood_ there. The man who was always so sure of himself and his actions just frozen still, blinking slowly as if doing a rather shit cosplay of a fish. 

They hadn’t spoken about it, no rehearsals between then and the wedding and Sebastian working other days to make up for the two days he had taken off for the ceremony, keeping themselves busy and seemingly pretending it never happened. 

So when the day of the wedding came around Blaine didn’t know how to act, pacing around his house like a madman, probably annoying his mom to death and wearing holes in the carpet. He’d tied, untied, and tied his bowtie about eight times, shrugged his jacket on and off and tried on about five pairs of socks so far. 

In the car on the way over he drafted about half a dozen texts to Sebastian before deleting them all, his incessant typing in the back of the uber probably pissing off his driver a fair bit, but just had to busy his hands to distract his mind from whatever was going on up there. 

They hadn’t spoken, hadn’t talked about anything, so when the car pulled up at the barn and Blaine dragged himself out, he had half a mind to turn and run before having to actually deal with talking to him. Unfortunately he was an adult, and at the wedding of two close friends, so ditching without warning would be rude and uncomely, both of which he was not. Unfortunately. 

The place really did look beautiful, decked out with flowers and garlands in a rustic way, the perfect amount of charm and warmth for a couple so deserving. McKinley alumni were scattered around in huddles, Blaine seeing some familiar faces which he hadn’t seen in a while which was nice, waving hello to Sugar who was in the middle of a conversation with Mercedes and Rachel. 

Parents, ex students, and friends were all around, an abundance of different relationships and dramas all together for the same occasion, and Blaine allowed himself to bask in the way he truly did love weddings. Maybe part of the reason he wanted to be engaged so young was just his inherent love of love, addicted to romance and beautiful occasions like this, so in a moment where he felt truly happy he allowed himself to be swept up in the spectacle of things. 

Not this time though - today he was here for Brittney and Santana, not to make himself do something stupid, ruin other people’s happiness. Sebastian’s happiness. He may have already done that. 

Out the corner of his eye he saw Sam chatting away to Mike, and immediately let his legs carry him over to _that_ conversation rather than have to deal with his thoughts right about now. 

“Hey man!” Mike called out as he approached, casually extending a closed fist to bump. “You know I think I finally got the hang of this whole hair gel thing today, about 3 years after you first told me.”

Blaine grinned back at him and let himself be briefly side hugged by Sam, some of his tension melting away in not having to be alone with himself. “Took you long enough, you can take most of mine I’m trying to wean my way off, not the tub a day I used to go through.”

“I was thinking of signing him up for My Strange Addiction if he didn’t let up soon.”

He whipped his head around, jumping at the sound of Sebastian’s voice behind him as the taller man approached, smiling at both Sam and Mike. Frustratingly, he looked fucking insane in his suit, pulling out the tailored, expensive two piece that Blaine knew was reserved for only the most special occasions, fitting him perfectly and just doing wonders for him. 

Really, it was like he was trying to torture him. 

Before Blaine could let his brain and mouth sync up and say anything in greeting, Sebastian casually draped an arm around his shoulders and slotted in beside him, bodies pressed tightly together. “Hey babe,” he muttered down to him, lightly kissing Blaine’s cheek as if that was no big deal. “Alright guys? Looking forward to seeing two of Sam’s ex’s get hitched?”

Mike barked out at a laugh whilst Sam just rolled his eyes, mouthing something under his breath but the corners of his lips lifted slightly. Blaine was pretty much just frozen in place, completely rigid against Sebastian’s body. The other man had always been good at putting on a mask, sure, hiding behind a snarky facade as a way to escape ever having to show real human emotion and vulnerability, but Blaine was finding this ease into normality very sudden. 

Especially compared to him, aware of his rigid posture, wide eyes, and just overall obvious discomfort. He just let himself lean slightly into Sebastian and smile, not trusting his voice at the minute so hoping his body would convey words, falling into the scent of his cologne. 

Mike began casual conversation with the ex Warbler, the two of them continuing a discussion from the bar the previous week about some dance class or something, Blaine not having paid enough attention at the time to understand. Sam’s eyes were trained on him which didn’t help, narrowed at him and Sebastian and flickering back and forth between them. 

He couldn’t say how long they were speaking for, barely aware of his own body as all he could focus on was the weight of the man next to him and the scent of his cologne, Blaine finding his eyes drifting to Sebastian’s lips and remembering the way they had felt, soft yet surrounded by the light stubble which still felt etched onto his skin-

“Blaine? Buddy did you hear us?”

Sam prodded him in the bicep with relative force, jerking his head slightly to get his attention. He blinked a few times and cleared his throat desperately fighting off any rising colour to his cheeks. “Sorry what?”

Mike chuckled in his direction and pointed to the barn where people were starting to gather. “We’re gonna head to our seats, decided that when you were lost staring at your boyfriend again. Please don’t tell me what you were thinking about, I still can’t picture the Dalton uniform the same way after what Smythe said in the bar.” He definitely blushed after that one. 

Steady streams of guests were starting to enter the venue however, so Blaine let himself be led into the barn behind his two old school friends, Mike mentioning something about them sitting next to Tina so looking for her. 

Sebastian left his arm around him, the contact never once wavering as they meandered through people and scenery, thumb rubbing on his shoulder. It was frankly really fucking disconcerting, the rapid juxtapositoin from being at the beautiful wedding of two people in honest, healthy love, compared to whatever was going on with him right now. 

Dealing with the mess of him and Sebastian really was just made worse by being where they were - weddings were his weakness anyway, the celebration of love and romance just his absolute kryptonite, as well as having to look at the other man in a suit. The flowers, string quartet, cake; it all just seemed to break his heart further, and he had absolutely no idea what Sebastian was thinking.

His mask was on as rigid as ever, still having not said anything since arrival but also not even blanking him out, just acting as if everything was completely normal. The touching probably wasn’t even necessary, people not exactly going to start questions if they just stood next to each other, but Sebastian was still going that extra step, being close. Blaine didn’t know what that meant. 

Tina waved them over to their seats, right up near the front where they could see both Mercedes and Artie in place ready to sing. He gave a small smile and wave to his friends as he settled into the chair, feeling Sebastian’s thigh against his own and their ankles touching gently. 

Mustering up whatever amount of courage he had Blaine turned his head, peering up through his lashes to look at the man next to him. “Hey, are you ok?”

Not the strongest opener, but it was about as strong as he could give right now. Sebastian paused for a moment before turning his own head, staring down with an expression which was completely unreadable, as if in role as a character or something. 

“Never better.”

Even the way he spoke was guarded, sounding hauntingly familiar to his 16 year old self and the way he’d talk around the New Directions: cocky, nonchalant, composed. Blaine felt a small rush of cold wash over him, searching Sebastian’s eyes for something, anything, to convey how he was really feeling, desperate for either confirmation or rejection, anything but this mask. 

The other man’s face remained stoic but there was a flash behind his eyes that was unmissable, swallowing hard before looking back to the front of the ceremony as if nothing happened, legs still touching and ankles still crossed. Slight touch, no matter how small, was still a comfort to Blaine, and although he longed to reach out and wrap himself close, it was something. Anything. 

Music started playing, and the voices of Mercedes and Artie flooded the barn softly as the two brides made their way down the aisle. Blaine found himself on the verge of tears the whole ceremony, overcome by how beautiful it was and swept up by the intimacy and romance of it all. 

He couldn’t help it, he’d been in love with love for as long as he could remember and this was no exception, their vows as perfect as each other’s and the whole thing beyond magical. 

Only once did he let his mind drift to thoughts of his own wedding, what could have been. Him and Kurt up there instead, exchanging words and rings, one sealing kiss in front of family and friends. Luckily, all Blaine felt was a sweeping wave of relief run through him that that wasn’t the case, at peace with his and Kurt’s relationship now and grateful he didn’t subject himself to a marriage he didn’t want, and didn’t need. They were both better off without. 

As Santana spoke her vows to Brittney, the two of them holding hands and completely lost in one another, Blaine felt a slight shift next to him, Sebastian’s leg moving slightly. He allowed himself to look, glancing to the man next to him and seeing misty eyes and a clenched jaw. 

The ex Warbler had admitted to Blaine he hadn’t cried in years, something he said with a shrug before moving on to the next topic, something a little shocking to him as he seemed to cry every other week. He was working on it.

Sebastian was definitely affected though, a lump in his throat almost visible from the way he jaggedly swallowed and blinked a few times, hand clenched by his side. 

The thought of him getting so choked up by something as romantic and emotional as this was strange, Sebastian not usually one to be affected by something of this calibre. Blaine gathered himself slightly and as they reached for the rings, he reached out and intertwined his and Sebastian’s fingers, a silent show of support and solidarity no matter what it meant. 

Neither one of them moved, neither dared. Even if they wanted to, this moment wasn’t about them in any capacity; it was Brittney and Santana’s time and they deserved it, their love and commitment falling in slightly more importantly than whatever was happening with Blaine’s relationship. 

As the ceremony drew to a close he could feel Sebastian’s eyes on him, flickering down ever so often, taking quick glances almost subconsciously. It wasn’t until the newlyweds kissed and everyone stood up to applaud did Blaine allow himself to turn his head, looking to see Sebastian beaming up at the women with a wide smile. Their eyes met for a moment, a smile shared, and some of the tension melted underneath the complete glow of the brides and the happiness of the day.

Slowly people started to clear out, the barn being turned into a reception venue as everyone piled outside in midst of conversation and need for drinks, a definite buzz about the place. 

Blaine knew that they needed to talk. He wasn’t about to drag out a long wedding reception whilst drowning in uncertainty and awkwardness, especially with all the glee alumni around who would spot it in a second. Show choirs were like sniffer dogs for relationship drama. 

As they rounded the corner for the exit, he saw Sebastian start to make a beeline for Mike so instead grabbed him by the tux sleeve and dragged him round the corner, enclosing him against the side of the barn. 

“Jesus Anderson, watch the suit,” Sebastian grumbled instantly as he was backed up against the wall, smoothing out the arms before meeting Blaine’s eyes with a slight frown. “What’s with the manhandling, this isn’t really the time or place.”

“You once told me the only thing weddings were good for were hooking up or becoming an alcoholic,” Blaine replied, taking a small step back and shaking his head out. “Stop trying to distract me, you’ve been acting weird.”

Sebastian raised his eyebrows and peered down at him, splaying out his hands on either side, “sorry you just shoved me against a wall and _I’m_ the one acting weird?” Before Blaine’s mouth could catch up to his brain and form a sentence, the other man brought a hand up to his lips and shook his head. 

“No, don’t. I know what you want to talk about and is this honestly the best place? At some of your best friend’s wedding? What did you want me to do, show up and cause a scene, start some argument, go and punch Hummel or whatever?” Sebastian stared him down as he spoke, slight accents to his words as Blaine realised he was right, what else could he have done?

“It’s just… it’s weird. And I don’t know how to fix it.”

“You kissed me, B. And then ran away. What’s there to fix?”

Blaine stared opposite him with confusion, searching green eyes for whatever was going on there. The other man had a clenched jaw and was looking off to the side, face somewhat stony but unable to stop a glimmer of hurt slipping through. A sad realisation suddenly dawned on him, Blaine feeling like such an idiot as he looked at the dejected man in front of him. 

“You...you think that was a rejection?” he asked softly, words escaping his lips like a damned whisper. Sebastian’s jaw twitched but he didn’t move, face defiant. “Seb… I didn’t leave because I didn’t mean it, I left because I thought I’d fucked up, done something you didn’t want...I panicked _because_ I meant it.”

The ex Warbler finally met his eyes, green iris’s boring into his own with a slightly furrowed brow atop a confused expression. Blaine felt his heart break slightly at the way Sebastian opened and closed his mouth a few times, looking lost. 

“You were talking about Kurt and how much it hurt you to see me with him and how you thought I deserved more and I couldn’t fucking stand to be there and hear you talk like that when none of it’s true, how you put me up on a pedastal when you deserve the fucking world Seb,” Blaine ushured, voice crackingly slightly at the end. “You have done...more than I could ever say, and you make me feel so fucking special, and I got lost in the moment and I kissed you, rather than talking like normal people do.”

Sebastian’s eyes flickered down to his lips, face softening and body relaxing slightly as the space between them lessened. He felt them naturally move forward to be more accomodating in each other’s space as they had done so for the last few months, standing so far apart unnatural for them. 

“I don’t do this stuff B, you know that. I’m not cut out for it,” Sebastian muttered softly. “Relationships they’re...messy, and hard, and not made for someone like me. But you… you’ve always sort of been the exception to any rule.”

Blaine felt his body melt slightly at the words, not an admission, or a declaration, but _something_ , something they could talk about, build off of. He was so overcome by emotion all he wanted to do was step forwards, close any distance between then and capture Sebastian’s lips with his own, shove his hands into the lapels of that stupidly expensive tux and push him against the wall, the slightest bit of clarification just sending him completely.

Just as the other man looked as if he was about to say something, opening his mouth slightly and edging forwards, a hand clasped down on Blaine’s shoulder, hard. 

“Dude come on! They’re starting all the reception stuff and we’re gonna miss out on the best bits.”

Sam continued his habit of entering at the worst possible times, effectively breaking whatever moment was happening between the two of them and all but dragging Blaine away not listening to any complaints, Sebastian begrudgingly following them. 

They ended up inside the barn, sitting alongside Sam, Mike, and Tina as the reception started to take place, listening to different performances and steadily getting through several glasses of champagne. 

Blaine barely knew how to behave, weirdly hopped up on adrenaline after their talk, leg bouncing up and down and taking quick glances to Sebastian out the corner of his eye. It was ridiculous, really, everyone thought they were together so if they touched at all it would be perfectly normal, but it felt so intimate and new to have any form of contact that he barely knew where to put his hands. 

As per wedding tradition, everyone got progressively more drunk and progressively more rowdy, people taking to the stage to sing and perform and others to the dancefloor to move in ways he really didn’t want to characterise as ‘dancing’. 

Several times he let himself be dragged up to join in - it wasn’t really _dragging_ if he encouraged it - spending a few songs messing about with Sam and Tina, even having Brittney for a dance as Sebastian and Santana had their own. He knew he was probably staring at them like a fool, ‘heart eyes’ or whatever Sam said, but seeing the two of them dance around the room really did make his heart full, happy for them to have found a solid friendship in each other, and that his best friend was more integrated in his life than just being with him.

However it wasn’t until Mercedes took to the stage, announcing a ‘couples dance’, that they took the chance to actually dance with one another. Subconsciously, he knew he had felt scared the whole night, but not sure what he was scared of. Sebastian immediately stood up, extending out a hand to him without a word, earning a coo from Sam and an eye roll from Tina (somewhat affectionately). 

Accepting the hand and letting himself be led to the dancefloor was stupidly romantic, heart hammering away in his chest as half his rom com dreams were coming to life right there and then, folding into Sebastian’s immediately as they adopted a position so new yet so familiar, as if he was molded to be held in his arms. 

Sebastian’s hand traced along the lines of his back, fingers dancing up his suit and gently trailing down, reassuring circles rubbed in which were both like electricity and home. His cologne was engulfing, the feel of light stubble against Blaine’s forehead intoxicating, chests pressed up together almost too intimately for the room. 

Mercedes’ voice drifted through the venue like liquid, but it was just him and Sebastian there, holding each other on the dancefloor with words going unsaid and questions unasked. 

“You know, it's a shame we never got to dance together,” he heard murmured against his ear, the sound rumbling through his head. 

“You say shame, I say fortune - I don’t need you showing me up Mr ‘Paris dance training,” Blaine muttered back which elicited a deep chuckle against his chest. “Singing on the other hand...now that’s a shame.”

“I’m going to completely ignore the implications of what you’re trying to say there Anderson, as even my heart isn’t cold enough to not be melted slightly by this wedding.” He could hear the fondness in Sebastian’s voice, letting his head fall further against his body and inhale, deeply, the scent of the other man. 

He still had no idea what they were doing, what they were, but all he knew was that right there, he was happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also the song they were singing is 'always be my baby' by mariah carey cos it was playing when i was writing and im lazy. thank you SO so much for reading, im killer-leo if u wanna say hi, and i do take requests but i cant promise how good they'll be lol <3


	5. were you watching me sleep?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> soooo last chapter!!! finally!!! this fic has been a labour of love, emphasis on labour, usually something like this would take a maximum of 2 weeks but this guy really has been dragged out. i guess going back to uni didn't help, plus i wanted to make this the best it could be. i say that but i finished this chapter 15 minutes ago so...yeah
> 
> just the biggest thank you in the world to everyone who's left kudos or comments, i cannot tell you how much it means how much it makes it all worth it, and actually gave me the motivation to finish it! thank you to quinn my biggest cheerleader, who just helps me more than she knows. special shoutout to ella - i know you said you were waiting til this was finished to read it so here u go, plus a warbler cameo so it's on brand for you <3 also hey seblaine discord, it's meatbox <3
> 
> i really hope you enjoy, thank you all for reading!!!

Blaine really did love weddings. 

The romance, the cheesy dancing, the people that get a  _ bit _ too drunk and nearly fall flat on their face in the middle of the floor. 

By the end of the reception he’d managed to have all three of those things. 

Sebastian gave him the romance and the cheesy dancing; the two of them not able to resist the gravitational pull to be against one another any longer since their first dance, and remained stuck to each other’s sides nearly the whole rest of the night. It was corny and beautiful, switching from moving slowly with arms around necks to attempting old Warbler moves which were  _ not _ up to captain Smythe’s standards. 

That was how he managed to nearly fall flat on his face, but the ‘getting drunk’ bit had happened long before. 

It was hard not to be overwhelmingly happy, surrounded by love and adoration, face hurting from smiling and heart full with affection. Everywhere he looked for the night he saw his friends, dancing and laughing with one another, picked up and hugged, cheeks kissed and hair ruffled. Mike, dancing close with Tina with blissful eyes, and Sam, holding Mercedes close with a wide grin. 

And, Sebastian. 

Sebastian, who tried to complain about hating everyone there and wanting nothing to do with them, but spending several dances arms linked with Santana and sat talking to her family, head thrown back laughing. Sebastian, who at the brides’ request got up and performed with Mike for the crowd, the two of them slotting into easy rhythms as if doing it for years. And Sebastian, who held Blaine in his arms as if cradling the sun, passion and care in his eyes that he would always pretend wasn’t there. 

The night died down, Blaine slightly sobered up (slightly), and when he and Sebastian somewhat stumbled out the barn in the direction of the exit, he was pretty sure the solid arm around his waist was the only thing keeping him standing. Not just because he’d been drinking - although that was partly some of the reason - but he was on such a euphoric high he felt dizzy, overwhelmed, just plain  _ happy _ . 

“Do you wanna crash at mine?” Sebastian asked quietly, thumb stroking along his waist. “Just because getting home to your parents house drunk at 2am is such a 17 year old thing to do.”

Blaine snorted and elbowed into the other man’s side, although feeling his pulse raise at the suggestion. “Maybe for you it was...but yeah, yeah that sounds nice.” He knew what he was thinking, the implication of what that meant. But Blaine also didn’t want to assume that was what Sebastian intended, didn’t want to put him in that box and make assumptions, just because of the other man’s sexual history. 

Instead he stayed quiet as Sebastian called an Uber and Blaine focused very hard on making the tree in front of him stop spinning, humming under his breath slightly. 

The car came, the journey was quiet, but their fingers stayed entwined, and that was enough. 

~

“I’m just  _ asking _ who out of the guys would be the first to get married, especially now you’re out the equation.”

Blaine choked on his wine, swatting at Sebastian who just ducked and giggled, leaning away on the couch. “ _ Out the equa _ -”

“-Shh you know what I mean, no longer engaged, no longer in a years long dump of a relationshi-”

“Stop digging yourself deeper,” Blaine muttered in mock annoyance, but unable to stop smiling over the rim of his glass. “And it’s a stupid question anyway we all know it’s going to be Nick and Jeff, pretty sure Duval picked out the flower arrangements senior year.”

Sebastian hummed in agreement, returning to his earlier position of being pressed close, an arm round the back of the couch with one of Blaine’s legs half atop his. “True, whenever he texts me I’m half expecting it to be a word art wedding invite, and am always disappointed when he actually wants to talk to me. Either that or it’s another Mr Puss conspiracy.”

“Well I’m just glad I’m not going to be the first.” Blaine smiled somewhat bashfully after he said it, although his words were infused with a lot of forced determination. 

They were true, but it was still painful to talk about.

The man next to him set their glasses down on the table and pulled him a little closer, hand finding its way into Blaine’s curls. “I’m glad too,” he murmured, lips curling and eyes searching his face, a vulnerability there that came out so rarely. “I think it was the day you asked me to help with the engagement that I knew I…” Sebastian swallowed and looked down, with the ghostings of a sad smile. “I knew how I felt. After Michael I thought I realised, but it was then that I really did.”

Blaine opened his mouth, unsure what to even say, heart breaking so loudly it felt like it was screaming. “Seb I… I should never of asked, I never  _ would _ have asked…” 

Sebastian shook his head, looking back up and tucking a loose curl behind Blaine’s ear with such tender intimacy it set his nerves on fire. “No, I never would have said, I wasn’t that selfish. Not to you, anyway. You were always the exception.”

His earlier words harked back to Blaine, them standing outside the barn and the taller man uttering the same exact thing, trying to piece together exactly what it was he was being told. The thing with Sebastian, is that he was completely blunt, honest, and said exactly what he was thinking at all times, unless it was something which betrayed his ability to feel things outside the emotions of rage or annoyance. 

“What are we doing?” Blaine found himself whispering, eyes connected and puffs of breath exhaling on faces at the same time. Sebastian’s thumb was tracing the inside of his wrist, his other hand scratching along the nape of his neck, as their bodies were curled around one another’s. 

“I don’t think we’re faking it anymore,” the other man replied, barely audible, yet it felt like the clearest thing Blaine had heard in months.

Blaine felt the clearest he had in months. 

He leaned into Sebastian’s hand and brought up his own to cradle his jaw, thumb tracing along the cheekbone with a gentle sweep, a feather light touch. Green eyes glanced down at his lips, and that was all the push he needed to close any distance between them. 

This kiss wasn’t like their first; a rushed, explosive, mess of contact. This was passionate and purposeful, lips sliding together as if fitting into place, teeth grazing as if finding etchings carved long ago. 

Blaine curled a hand into Sebastian’s shirt - their suit jackets abandoned when they walked through the door - and tugged slightly, an insistence and urgency behind his actions which betrayed the years of pent up tension. 

As Sebastian’s tongue pushed into his mouth and nails dragged along his skull, Blaine could feel his veins on fire, the initial alarm bells of doing this with  _ Sebastian _ , the person he was never allowed to like, but those intrusive thoughts were immediately quelled by an overwhelming desire and warmth which flooded through him. This was Sebastian, and that was ok. 

Strong arms wrapped around his waist and Blaine found himself dragged onto the other man’s lap, thighs straddling thighs and he let out a rather unfortunate squeak at the movement.

Sebastian grinned against his mouth, nipping playfully at his lower lip as his hands travelled down lower, tantalisingly slow and careful, dragging out the action with torturous intent. Blaine was putty in his hands, completely at the mercy of his touch. He squeezed his thighs, pushing forward again to attach his lips to the taller man’s neck and press slow, hot kisses down the skin, pausing occasionally to let his teeth graze and run his tongue along the pulse point, letting out a small moan when Sebastian ground his hips up. 

“Fuck, B,” Sebastian purred against his ear, biting at the lobe and letting out a noise that went  _ straight _ to Blaine’s crotch. 

He was pretty sure his eyes blurred out for a second as Sebastian’s hands sneaked up the back of his shirt, skin hot to touch, just the minimal amount of contact sending him into complete overdrive. “Bedroom, now,” Blaine all but growled, pulling back slightly. 

Sebastian raised an eyebrow at him, lips swollen and cheeks red, eyes almost black with lust. “Someone’s desperate,” he teased, voice low and dark. He could recognise the look on his face, one that Blaine could now admit he’d seen for years, one of desire, want. He’d seen it back on the first day they met, back at Scandals, fleeting over the last few months. 

His eyes were dark and wild, but it wasn’t just base lust there, a one dimensional need for physicality which could be sedated and thrown away, Blaine could tell it was more intimate,  _ deeper _ , than that.

“What are you going to do about it?” He gave a look which he knew was slightly bratty, the smallest challenge to Sebastian the easiest way to get anything done with that man. 

Immediately he was met with a furrowed brow and a rumble from his throat, the arms around his waist tightening, and before he knew it Blaine found himself lifted in the air, wrapping his legs around Sebastian’s waist. 

“I’ll show you what I’m gonna fucking do about,” Sebastian grumbled as he started walking backwards to the bedroom, Blaine cackling as they went. His back pushed against the door and they moved in, quickly making their way over to the bed which Blaine ended up dropped on. 

As Sebastian crawled up his body, hands disappearing under clothes and wicked look emerging on his face, Blaine was unable to tear his eyes away, completely at the other man’s mercy with vision tinted red with lust. Sebastian reached his lips again, pinning his hands to his side and attaching their lips, and with that Blaine felt himself melt into the mattress, his last coherent thought of the night.

~

Light streamed in, bleeding through the curtains they hadn’t bothered to close onto the sheet they hadn’t bothered to re-tuck. Blaine had slept in Sebastian’s bed before, and had been in the room enough times to be used to the surroundings and not completely jarring to wake up in.

What  _ was  _ different, however, was having another body there.

Sebastian was half draped across him, face buried in the crook of his neck, arm strewn across his torso, and one leg sprawled across his own, enveloping his body. The times they’d been physically close before, Blaine was always the one being wrapped up, encompassed in Sebastian’s longer limbs and taller frame, the other man taking on a protective, more stoic and domineering role. 

It seemed that whilst unconscious he didn’t have the same concerns.

Blaine craned his neck as best as he could to get a better look without disrupting Sebastian’s sleep, letting the soft, messy hair tickle his nose as he took in the rumpled sleep lines on his face and slightly parted lips, hot puffs of air escaping. He looked a lot younger, freer, not weighed down by ridiculous expectations. Sebastian wasn’t as internally wound up as he was in high school, but there were still moments where the obvious pressure he put on himself almost scared Blaine, that carefree facade cracking.

Here though, in this moment, intimate and peaceful, he seemed happy. 

The sudden blaring of an alarm went off, jerking Blaine out his staring and making his hand jolt, that was previously rubbing circles on the other man’s shoulder. 

Sebastian made a noise that was barely human and just smashed his face further into Blaine’s shoulder, limbs tightening around his body with a groan. 

“Uh, Seb? Pretty sure that’s your work alarm,” Blaine croaked out, throat rusty from sleep. He was met with another vague noise, Sebastian moaning and rolling onto his back, wincing at the light with his hair sticking out at all angles. Seeing him so dishevelled, imperfect, made Blaine’s heart flutter, unable to drag his eyes away. 

“Were you watching me sleep Anderson? Careful or I’ll get a restraining order,” the taller man grumbled, slapping the alarm off next to him with a loud sigh, face scrunched up. 

Blaine rolled onto his side, arm tucked behind his head, so they were facing, suddenly very conscious of his hair and state of undress, duvet pooled around his waist. Sebastian seemingly had no such shame, barely covered up with long lines of muscle exposed, chest littered with beauty marks and light bruises which had not been there before last night. 

“You really want me to stay away?” Sebastian turned his head, eyes darkening as he trailed his gaze up Blaine’s body with a dangerous smile creeping onto his face, inching closer as he shuffled around. 

“Oh definitely not, in fact I’m pretty sure I want you to stay here for the next 3-5 business days if you’re gonna look like that,” he replied, reaching out to drag a hand through dishevelled curls. 

Blaine leaned into the touch but hesitated, remembering the previous alarm. “You might wanna check the time first, pretty sure you’re running late for work.” The taller man narrowed his eyes before flipping over, turning on his phone screen and mutturing an annoyed, “fuck” under his breath. 

With a sigh Sebastian sat up, ran a hand through his mess of hair and swung his legs over the side of the bed, exposing his back to Blaine which rippled slightly with movement. “Sorry B I gotta go, like, now. That was my last alarm,” he explained as he stood, walking over to the side of the room and starting to pull on a suit which he pulled out of the wardrobe. 

He just lay back in bed, answering a “that’s ok” and watched Sebastian get dressed, hurriedly doing up buttons and zips. Blaine wondered what to do, whether or not to get up as well, just tucking himself under the duvet and hoping that he wouldn’t have to leave this warm, comfortable bed on his day off. 

Sebastian quickly went to the bathroom as Blaine checked through his phone, replying to texts from Sam and Tina and just casually browsing, when the other man came back into the room with neat hair and a clean face, the smell of his cologne following him as he entered. 

“Feel free to stay here, there’s a key on the side so let yourself out whenever,” Sebastian announced as he put his things in his bag with a look at his watch. He was only young still, but just seemed so professional Blaine forgot he was only 20, not even gone to college yet, just seeming leaps and bounds ahead of him in terms of having his life together. 

The taller man patted down his pockets quickly, seemingly satisfied he had everything before moving over to the bed, and perching beside Blaine on the edge. 

“I finish at 3, so I’ll speak to you then?”

Blaine nodded, unable to stop a small smile breaking on his face as he peered up through his lashes, fascinated at the way Sebastian had made himself so presentable so fast, shifting from moaning, tired, and dishevelled, to law intern in a matter of minutes. 

“Yeah,” he replied, just above a whisper and not sure what else to say. Sebastian grinned and leant down, pressing a kiss onto his cheek, lingering slightly before moving over to his lips with a drag, one hand cupping his face gently. Blaine keened up, having to almost sit on his hands to stop himself from grabbing and crinkling Sebastian’s suit. 

They pulled apart, slowly, Blaine’s eyes staying closed for just a second longer, wanting to stay in that moment for as long as he could, before he was left. 

“See you later,” Sebastian said, standing up with a wink and straightening his jacket, leaning down to press one last kiss atop Blaine’s curls before moving to leave, looking back one last time before heading out the door. 

With a content sigh Blaine flopped back down against the bed, embraced by the soft pillows and luxurious sheets, hearing the subtle slam of the door after a few seconds. He turned in the bed, shoving his face into the still warm but now empty side of the mattress and inhaling deeply, immersing himself in Sebastian’s scent as best as he could. 

He drifted back to sleep like that, dreams of green eyes and Dalton uniforms flooding his brain. 

~

Blaine decidedly did not overstay his welcome. 

He did go back to sleep for around another two hours, but it had also been infuriatingly early when he’d woken up for the first time so he didn’t care, although after half an hour scrolling through his phone in Sebastian’s bed he started to feel a little weird about hanging out there. 

Within another half an hour he’d gotten up and left, having tidied up the bedroom a little (and the kitchen as Sebastian was surprisingly messy) and gotten dressed, stealing an old Dalton hoodie for good measure in the process. 

Today was another day his mom had off work he knew, so at least he wasn’t going home to an empty house, seeing lights on and cars parked when the Uber pulled up at the Anderson residence. When he pushed open the front door, he heard a loud clatter from the kitchen and a shout following it, yelling “IN HERE”. 

Blaine followed the sound of his mother's voice with no question, taking his time but mildly curious, as she sounded excited yet not in any danger at least. Walking into the kitchen, his mother was leaning against the island with a wide grin on her face, an empty pan on the floor which she appeared to have dropped in her anticipation. Next to her arms though, was a large envelope, looking decidedly thicker than regular post. 

“Hey sweetheart, look what arrived this morning!” she announced with glee, pushing forward the package excitedly. Blaine moved around to see it, stopping to kiss her on the cheek as he passed, eyeing the front which said -

“NYU...This is from NYU,” he breathed. Although he’d applied to a fair amount of schools, this was the one he really wanted to go to, the one he had his eye on. New York wasn’t somewhere he necessarily wanted to live  _ post _ university, but was somewhere he would love to go to college, live in the city for those few years, and the music education program was one perfect for him. 

There was a nudge on his arm as his mom leant into his side, pushing the packet closer to him. “Go on, open it honey.”

Blaine swallowed and nodded, reaching out and carefully opening the envelope, slight tremor in his hands. The words were almost blurry to him, not able to concentrate on what was on the page in front of him, but there was an animated gasp from beside him and he was suddenly wrapped up in a hug, tight arms wrapped around his midriff.

He’d got in. 

“Oh I’m so proud of you! You deserve this so much sweetheart,” his mom exclaimed, pressed close to him, Blaine returning the hug with fever as he still clutched the letter in his hand. 

“I-I can’t believe it,” he managed to choke back, feeling eyes well up and throat getting thick. His mother pulled back, hands on his forearms and smiling up with pride, her own eyes getting misty. 

“Well I sure as hell can, you earned that spot my love, I had every faith in you.”

“Thanks mom,” Blaine managed to reply, setting the package down and leaning against the counter, rush of adrenaline still going through him. His first thought - call Sebastian. NYU had been a big point of discussion for them during their reconnection, and especially when Blaine started applying to colleges. Along with Sam, they’d done it together, Sebastian helping with all the forms and essays, not just academic help but also emotional, being a surprisingly good point of comfort. 

As his fingers itched to reach for his phone, he remembered in annoyance that Sebastian was at work, and definitely wouldn’t be picking up the call any time soon. It was ok, there was no rush, his acceptance at NYU wouldn’t be taken away from him in the three hours before Sebastian finished, but he still found it irritating. 

Instead, Blaine thought about how happy his  _ other _ best friend was going to be, so gave his mom a final kiss on the cheek and bounded up the stairs, jumping up two at a time to get to his room. 

Sam was at McKinley, sure, but he tended to have his phone on him at all times and had a pretty lax schedule, so Blaine didn’t find it too surprising when his call was picked up after two rings. 

_ “Hey buddy how you hanging? Coaching teenagers with a hangover is in the top 10 worst choices of my life I’ll tell you.” _

Blaine chuckled down the phone at the blond’s winced tone, settling back on his bed with the envelope still clutched in his hand. “I’ve been worse, glad I have today off though I’ll say that. I’m, uh, actually calling with some pretty exciting news.”

_ “You and Sebastian eloped and adopted the Warblers?” _

“Jesus, Sam, no,” he said, shaking his head silently despite being sat alone. “No, I, uh, got accepted into NYU-”

_ “OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS? Blaine that’s fucking amazing - hey guys! Blaine just got into NYU?” _

He heard Sam shouting out his phone seemingly at his class of teenagers, presumably who had no idea who he was from the dead silence he recieved followed by Sam huffing and saying “bowtie singing gay guy” in the background, barely audible. 

_ “Well everyone is super stoked for you anyway, but holy shit dude that’s so great, I mean I knew you could do it but still...I’m so proud of you man.” _

Blaine let his head fall back against the wall and felt a smile break on his face, finally letting the moment sink in, let himself be actually proud. “Yeah,  _ fuck _ I’m over the moon. Apart from my mum you’re the first one who knows but feel free to tell others.”

_ “You not told Sebastian yet? Also don’t think I didn’t see you two leave together.” _

“He’s at work so I can’t talk to him, and, uh, yeah, about that…”

_ “Dude you guys totally hooked up didn’t you!” _

Sam practically shouted down the phone, the excitement in his voice clear as day as Blaine felt his cheeks heat up, memories of the previous night coming back. “Ok well yes, but maybe don’t shout about it in front of your class of teenagers Sam, jesus,” he sighed. 

Honestly, they still hadn’t exactly spoken about specifics so Blaine was unsure what to say, how to define anything about the two of them when that conversation hadn’t even taken place. “We hooked up, and we did speak a bit, but we sort of got distracted so… yeah,” he trailed off, brain running out of words as he realised he had nothing else to fill his sentence with. 

_ “Well if you were worried about the future you realise you’re both going to be in New York now right? So like, what’s stopping you two? When you both have feelings for each other and clearly treat each other well, plus now you’re going to be living in the same city for four years.” _

Blaine made a few sounds, starts of sentences and saying “um” a few times, but wasn’t able to form anything properly, no excuses. 

_ “Exactly. Look, buddy, he makes you happy, and that guy would do anything for you. Don’t throw it away cos you’re scared, cos I think we both know Sebastian is something good for you.” _

“Yeah…” Blaine managed, whispering out the words and biting his lips. There really was no reason now, for them not to be together, no point trying to pretend his feelings weren’t legitimate. 

_ “Hey so I gotta go, some kid just bit another kid so I should probably check it out, but call me soon yeah? We gotta sort out some celebration drinks or something for you.” _

“Sure thing, see you later,” Blaine finished, hanging up his phone and tossing it aside. Sam was right, of course he was. Before finding out about college, one of the things in the back of his mind was always the fact that come the end of summer, they could potentially be in different states, and there was no way he was putting himself in long distance again, especially not in a brand new relationship. 

Now, the only thing stopping them was Blaine’s own insecurities and self doubts, embedding themselves in his mind and ruining the happiness he knew was within his reach. Anxieties from his past relationship, his own past actions,  _ Sebastian’s  _ past actions, and just the crippling fear of having his heart broken again. 

  
  


He lay himself down on the bed, staring at the ceiling that he spent 18 years staring at, in the nexus of childhood and teenaged memories which flooded back all those difficult times he tried to repress, but instead he tried to focus on the positive of the now. Sebastian was different, of course, but also Blaine was different, he knew that, and he knew he had to disregard his fears which were rooted in things which didn’t have the same possibilities of emerging, not anymore at least. 

The clock beside his bed ticked by, Blaine allowing himself to just lie down, think, for a while, processing the news about NYU and imagine his future, figuring out what he wanted to do over the next few years. Finally he emerged from his internal thoughts and picked his phone back up, feeling the excitement about college building yet again and starting to call more friends, from Tina, to Nick, Wes, and Mike. 

He then set about showering, cleaning himself up and getting changed after still feeling relatively gross (and sore) from the previous night and the wedding, finalising that by slipping on the Dalton hoodie he had managed to steal from Sebastian. 

Sebastian.

Blaine checked his phone, seeing it to be 2:45 - fifteen minutes before the other finished work, and decided that fuck it, he’d just go over. His news about NYU had to be told in person, not just because of how much Sebastian had helped him with the application and the long chats they’d had about it, but also for what it meant for the future, for them. 

Shouting a quick goodbye to his mom, Blaine rushed down the stairs and got into his car, knowing that the time it would take him to drive to the other man’s apartment would mean he’d arrive shortly after Sebastian would get back. 

The journey over was slightly tense, finding himself tapping his fingers on the steering wheel and speeding a little more than necessary, for some reason being ridiculously jittery despite only seeing the other man that same morning. This time he was loaded with an expectation, a purpose, and now his heart was set on it, it only meant it would break more easily. 

When he pulled up at Sebastian’s apartment he could tell he was home, judging from the lights on in the living room, which at least meant he wouldn’t be awkwardly sat on the floor outside his front door again, which had earned him very strange looks from the neighbors. 

Blaine knew the entry code for the building so made his way in, jogging up the necessary flights of stairs before stopping in front of Sebastian’s apartment, taking a quick breath before knocking on the door. 

There was a light shuffle from inside, sound of someone moving around and kicking something out of the way before the door was pulled open, Sebastian’s initial reaction of stone cold and unimpressed quickly replaced with a smile upon seeing who it was. 

“B, hey… did you tell me you were coming round? Doesn’t matter just want to make sure my brain isn’t failing on me,” Sebastian chuckled slightly, opening the door further. He had clearly just gotten back from work, blazer and tie off, sleeves rolled up, and Blaine allowed his eyes to linger on his tall frame for a second before pushing into the apartment with a determined stride. 

He stopped in the middle of the living room, hearing the click of the door being closed from behind him, taking a few deep breaths before turning to look at Sebastian who was wearing a slightly confused expression. 

“I got into NYU,” Blaine blurted out, a mad rush of words filled with excitement and pride, practically buzzing on his feet. 

Opposite him Sebastian’s face lit up, smile breaking out and eyes softening, not even hesitating before striding across the apartment and dragging Blaine in close, arms enveloping his body and lips pressed into his hair.

“Jesus I’m so proud of you,” Sebastian said, voice muffled from his curls. The taller man pulled back slightly, one hand coming up to cup the side of Blaine’s face and gently stroke across the cheekbone, the other rubbing up and down his back. “I mean I never had any doubt that you would, but still, you deserve this so much B, I can’t even find it in me to say something dickish.”

Blaine snorted and leant into the touch, face aching from smiling. “I’m sure you’ll think of something, don't worry.” That earned him a light pinch on the cheek, Sebastian rolling his eyes but still grinning down, bringing his hand up from stroking along his back to resting in his hair, tucking a curl behind his ear. 

“So, New York huh?”

They’d spent enough time together for the small inflection in Sebastian’s voice to be unmissable, not quite nerves, but something like curiosity, testing the water of the conversation but not wanting to drown. 

“Yeah, New York,” Blaine replied with a little more confidence, determinedly setting his jaw. “We’re gonna basically be neighbors you know? Our dorms will be like half an hour apart.”

Sebastian nodded slowly, giving him a look which suggested he carry on speaking. Blaine was good at speaking. 

“You know, one of the reasons I tried not to feel anything for you was thinking that in a few months it could all be over, we could be hundred of miles apart and all this could end,” he started off, the preplanned words sort of floating out of his mind as he actually had to start saying them. “I mean there were other reasons too of course, but I think I used that one to manage my emotions, to use something practical to balance out the emotional.”

“Do I wanna hear those other reasons?” Sebastian answered with a smirk, Blaine pushing at his shoulder with a chuckle. “Can I say something though B? Cos I think we both know a lot of those ‘reasons’ are do to with our history, my own personal history, and just in general my complete lack of ‘relationship material. And I know that this should scare me, but it doesn’t. I used to think that you ruined me, you broke me - you destroyed my wish to be an eternal playboy bachelor with a black heart and full bank account, and turned me upside down. Now I just see how much you add to me and give me, and I’ve never been less scared in my life.”

Blaine blinked back tears, throat thick at the words being confessed in front of him, hands shaking by his sides. 

“I’ve never stopped having feelings for you, from the fucked up way I went about things in junior year to actually helping you propose in senior year, to everything we have now, I never stopped, not for a second. These past few months I never made a proper move out of fear of not being enough for you, not what you wanted. And fuck it, I don’t deserve you, I don’t think anyone does, but there’s no way I’m going to throw away the best thing that’s ever going to happen to me, not now, not ever.”

It took him a moment to process all those words coming out of Sebastian’s mouth, the same Sebastian who once said weddings were only good for being blown in the bathroom during the first dance. The sincerity seemed to radiate off of him though, not even tinged with the same apprehension and nerves which usually accompanied any talk of ‘feelings’. 

Blaine had always loved words, loved talking about anything and everything and being able to articulate what he was feeling, but right now, in that moment, words didn’t feel enough. 

He wiped away the tear trickling down his cheek, hot and wet, and let himself lean into the gravitational pull of Sebastian, lips connecting and hands grabbing, pushing their bodies together with desperation and urgency that poured everything he felt into that one kiss. Sebastian instantly kissed back, arms tightening around his body and melting into him, matching his intensity with ease. 

They stood there, holding one another in Sebastian’s half decorated living room, for an ambivalent and irrelevant passage of time, the world slowing down now they had found each other.

~

_ 3 years later _

“Ideally you would  _ help _ to carry the boxes Duval, and not just sext your fiance.”

Blaine chuckled as Nick flipped off Sebastian, before begrudgingly pocketing his phone and bending over to lift up a poorly taped cardboard box. “I’d be careful with that one,” he called out biting back a smile, “I’m pretty sure Sam packed it.”

To his left Sam nodded and gave a big thumbs up, grin as wide and goody as ever as Nick’s face paled slightly and his fingers gripped more solidly around the box before making his way inside the apartment building, where Mike, Tina, and Mercedes were already inside starting to unpack, the blond close behind with a box of his own

Sebastian stretched out his back with a groan, coming over to drape an arm around Blaine’s shoulders and dropping a kiss on his head, skin slightly sticky with exertion. “Next time I see Jeff I’m gonna tell him his fiance is going to be the death of me, and that if he ever bails on us moving again I’ll tell Hunter where he lives.”

“Babe, he didn’t  _ bail _ , he has a dance exam, it’s a pretty solid reason,” Blaine replied with a raised eyebrow, edging his boyfriend with an elbow. “Let’s not blame him for us having to put up with Nick alone - besides him and Sam are pretty close now they can just tire each other out.”

There was a reluctant grumble of a yes from next to him, Sebastian squeezing his arm a little before making his way back over to the remainder of the boxes, sleeves rolled up. “Come on let’s finish up before Tina starts claiming a room for herself up there, plus there’s a bar down the road Mike and I want to hit up.”

Blaine nodded, only half paying attention as his boyfriend lifted a particularly heavy box, muscles straining against his top in a way which meant his brain was not going to be focusing on any words coming out. 

“Anderson I know I’m hot but ogling me is not an excuse to get out of work, no matter how good it is for my ego.” He jerked his head up to see Sebastian standing there with a smug look, foot gesturing at the case next to him expectantly. Blaine didn’t have it in him to feel guilty so just tossed a wink in his boyfriend’s direction before leaning down to grab it, following the taller man into the building and up to their brand new apartment.

It was their first place together, ready for last year of college at Columbia and NYU respectively, deciding that at 22, and after three years of dating, getting their own place just made sense. 

When first moving to the city both he and Sebastian went into the dorms, as did everyone else - it was college. He’d never understood why Kurt and Rachel immediately got that loft when pretty much everyone he knew went into dorms straight away, a part of university life, almost a rite of passage. Both of them were in college accomdation for two years, before moving to different apartments for their third. 

Blaine shared with two other music education majors he’d gotten friendly with, and Sebastian with a fellow law student. By the end of the year they’d barely had any nights apart so moving in together felt inevitable, and the right time. Rushing it had seemed wrong, jumping into something as important as that when they were both still young and had to take the time to develop as people, not just live as a relationship and have nothing else. 

Now, it felt perfect.

Nick and Jeff lived in the city, the four of them reconnecting fast and instantly, helped by the fact several other Warblers were scattered nearby, as well as Mike and Tina who had just moved to be part of the Broadway scene. Sam and Mercedes were up visiting, together but not living with each other yet as the latter was all over the country at the minute, but he could tell they were planning a future together, Sam willing to go anywhere for her. The second bedroom in their apartment was unofficially his, anyway.

Three years ago the Warblers had won sectionals with ease over the New Directions and Vocal Adrenaline - the former too unrehearsed and the latter too over the top. They’d gone on to take Regionals, and then Nationals under his and Sebastian’s coaching, and he still treasured it as the thing he was most proud of. Leaving Dalton and the boys was hard, but there was no doubt in Blaine’s mind that he was currently living the best version of his life.

“Nick I swear to god if you fucking break  _ one more thing-” _

“Yeah yeah you’ll show everyone the photos from Wes’s party - I feel no shame Smythe you can’t threaten me.”

His friends bickering greeted him at the door, propped open for his arrival with boxes and miscellaneous items scattered across the floor, the six of them crowded around in the kitchen in various states of exhaustion. Tina and Mercedes were starting to kick bits over to the bedroom whilst chatting away about Artie and whatever girlfriend he was on, as Sam and Nick were seeming to have some kind of lightsaber duel with rolls of bubble wrap. Sebastian and Mike looked tired. 

The apartment was decently sized - the Smythe’s and Anderson’s not exactly tight on money and willing to help out their student son’s, but was full of dark wood and big windows, meticulously picked by both of them and ticking every box. 

Blaine felt himself unable to stop smiling as he closed the door behind him, settling down the case of utensils on the floor and staring at his boyfriend, jerking his head to get him to come over. Sebastian excused himself from Mike and walked across the place, instinctively placing his arms around Blaine’s shoulders, one hand placing with a loose curl at the back of the head. 

“Everything alright?” his boyfriend asked softly, his own excitement about their new place evident on his face no matter how much he tried to hide it. 

“Yeah,” Blaine smiled, snaking his own arms around Sebastian’s waist, “just happy my life turned out this way.”

“What, seeing Duval and Evans slowly start to break everything we own as we’re all helpless to watch?” the taller man snorted, although his eyes were soft. He was beautiful. 

Blaine rolled his eyes, catching a look at the two friends in question and wincing slightly at how accurate Sebastian seemed to be, but finding himself not caring even in the slightest. 

“Of course, but also just...you, here, NYU. Everything.” 

He let his head fall into the crook of Sebastian’s neck, not needing an answer to know his boyfriend felt the same - they’d had enough heartfelt confessions for a lifetime, even though he knew there would probably be a few more in the future. 

A kiss was pressed into his curls, arms tight around his body, surrounded by their friends and their new home. And that was enough, that was everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you SO much for reading!! im killer-leo on tumblr if you do ever wanna say hi, and i do take requests but also cant promise how good they'll be lmao. ily all <3

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!!! the next chapter should be up soon :)  
> im 'killer-leo' over on tumblr if you wanna say hi, and i take requests as well <3


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